Swimming in the Ocean of Uncertainty
Swimming into life’s uncertainty is something that I have always dreaded. I would rather stay afloat in my comfort zone than dive and uncover the beauty that life has to offer at the bottom of the ocean. Oftentimes, that kind of thinking has pushed me away from opportunities that would bring me a step closer toward my dreams. There were days when I would let these chances slip away, there were days when I chose not to raise my hand in class even if I knew the answer to the question, there were days when I opted not to voice out my thoughts and suggestions because of fear of failure and embarrassment. I became too fixated on the possibility of failure that I let myself drown in it. I allowed it to dictate my decisions and this, in turn, did not contribute to my self-growth. Added frustration comes when I suddenly realize that my overemphasis on the possibility of failure caused me to neglect all the times I faced the tidal waves or the untamed waters of life. Perhaps, some of the people reading this may feel the same way. Wherein, a lot of times we become too harsh with ourselves because of the mentality that things will not work out in our favor and that everything we do could not compare to the laudable achievements others have made in their lives. We tend to compare our growth to others that we fail to realize that the reason why these individuals were able to achieve such amazing things is simply because they tried. These successful people continued to persevere despite the looming possibility that one action could make things worse on their end. They remain to stand tall despite all the small voices that tell them they could not. They tried despite the fear of failure and uncertainty.
Ever since I was a child, all I ever wanted is to succeed and to please the people around me, but life, as expected, just never seems to work in my favor — or at least I thought. Thus, I started having doubts, I developed a mentality that made me believe that no matter how many times I try everything will just fail, no matter how much I dive I will end up drowning because I felt like I did not reach my own expectations. Because of this, whenever I expect failure I tend to stay afloat and stop swimming. I fail to realize that if I went into a standstill, I will never reach the bottom of the ocean and discover the beauty of life that lies beneath it. I become so afraid of failure and uncertainty that almost every time I come across it, I shun away from it, when in fact, it would only bring me closer to winning, success, milestones; and most importantly, self-growth.
Most of the time, we forget that the very foundation of our success is failure and that, to succeed we must dive into the ocean that is full of uncertainty and possibilities. However, for those who spend a generous amount of time overthinking and scrutinizing every word and action, this is something that is difficult to comprehend. We put so much attention on everything that we are not when there are a thousand things we are. In life, there would be a lot of moments that we find ourselves going back to the familiarity and the assurance the gentle shore of our comfort zone brings, but with everything that is happening today — the uncertainty of life post-COVID, the fear brought by the Anti-Terrorism Bill, and the continuous disregard to the basic human rights of people of color — we find ourselves in a situation wherein it seems like we have no other choice but to dive in the ocean. As expected, this brings fear and anxiety to us human beings as we naturally like to be in control. But despite fear and hesitations, a lot of us still chose to be brave and stand up against all these problems. We could see how frontliners still choose to go to work every day despite the risks on their health and how millions of people continue to march to the streets to demand that they be given justice and voice out their opinions amid attacks against the freedom of speech and expression. At this uncertain time, if we go back to the shore and stop swimming what do you think would happen to the future of our nation? To the future of our world? Nothing.
Recently, I have been reading about the life of the actress who holds the title for the most number of Academy Awards for acting. However, I learned that before Katharine Hepburn received the recognition and success, she too experienced a handful of failures and frustrations with her career. In fact, at different points of her career she was fired, denied, received poor reviews, and even regarded as a “box office poison.” Yet Katharine Hepburn did not let these things end her existence in Hollywood and instead focused her attention on finding a role that would suit her perfectly. Rather than remaining frustrated and afraid, Katharine Hepburn was able to achieve such amazing and impactful things that a lot did not because she tried and made her dreams happen. She embraced the opportunities given to her and continued to persevere despite the looming possibility that one action could make things worse on her end. She remained hopeful that she would reach her goal despite the individuals who told her she could not. So like her, what if we change our perspective on failure? Instead of saying things like “I am not productive” or “I did nothing all day,” how about we say that “I did more today than yesterday” or “I removed one thing in my to-do list today.” However cliche this may sound, we must always remember that even the act of trying is already a progress in itself and it is from these simple acts alone that we begin to dive in and embrace the terrifying untamed waters that eventually unveil the beauty beneath life’s uncertainty at the bottom of the ocean. The journey into the ocean of uncertainty will never be easy but it is necessary for us to finally make our dreams a reality. The fear may drown us but our courage to move forward will keep us swimming and fighting.
