Aikido: the development of oneself (essay for nidan grading)
Aikido is part of my life for many years now. As time goes by I feel a positive development of what I give and take on the mat and what I can do, with the clear understanding that I am still beginning to learn anything.
Being able to roll over smoother than how I did in my first class, recognising the names of techniques and imagine how they are done, actively trying to execute them the best way I can, paying attention to as many details as I can (posture, position, speed) are positive signs that I can identify in my Aikido development. That also made me someone more aware of my partner, and, in general in life, the simple walking posture has improved thanks to Aikido.
These small improvements mean a lot to me, however, I am fully aware that they are very small steps in the mountain that Aikido and personal development is and still lays ahead of me.
I have been extremely lucky over the years, I have managed to travel across country and countries, practice and learn from many different instructors, with many different partners, many of whom I am fortunate enough to call friends. And that friendship that has developed is also what makes me a better person, so in the social aspect, Aikido has been very important for my personal development. Additionally, the interaction with so many different people and different styles or approaches to Aikido, has inevitably moulded my own practice. Surely, with the passing of the years, the continuous practice and travels, my Aikido will keep developing thanks to those several inputs, keeping an open mind is something I try to cultivate.
Most fundamentally, I am becoming more and more aware that Aikido is unlike other sports or some martial arts. Whilst a cyclist will try to have the best bike possible, the most advanced materials, or a swimmer will try to have the latest development in sharkskin swimwear, Aikido only requires one body and one mind. Our body is the fundamental tool to develop the physical aspect of Aikido, with the aid of the mind. No physical development is complete without a mindful evolution of the thinking process.
Over the years, my flexibility has improved (maybe not to the extent desired) but it has. Simultaneously my mind has developed. A technique that does not work in an instance is not to be labelled has a failure anymore, but an essential and useful opportunity to develop my body (position, posture, direction) and, with that, develop my understanding of Aikido, maai, zanshin, etc.
I am, by no means, excluding or minimising the role of the uke/partner in my practice. If anything, I am admitting that if I don’t develop, I am hindering his/her own development. The essential development, however, has to start from within me.
I am also aware that there is a thin line between the self-development and becoming selfish and only focusing on my own needs, and myself disregarding my partner’s development. And although it is sometimes hard to fully commit, it is an essential part of my own development, to become a more open and helpful partner.
Aikido is a life long activity, so it is its development. I am committing to carry on, train as much and as hard as I can, to keep developing myself and being a tool for others self-development.
London, 8th of April 2019
