Mess With Your Friends via the Postal System
A step-by-step guide.
( Image created by the author in Pixelmator Pro using Midjourney Photo )
You know the Holiday Season has arrived when the calendar flips to December and the happy and joyous thought of messing with your friends and relatives begins to dance in your head.
Here is what I did this year, I hope it inspires you to do something similar!
Step 1
Conjure-Up Some Awkward Family Photos
Using your favorite generative image creation tool, provide some prompts that create awkward family photos. I am a member of Midjourney, but any generative AI image-creation tool should do the trick.
I crafted the following Midjourney prompt to create the main image above.
/imagine
An old 1960's style photograph of an awkward family Christmas portrait.
The family is father, two sons, daughter, and mother with all of them
wearing ugly Christmas sweaters. They are posing in front of a Christmas
tree. The father has a beard and looks bored. The mother looks tired but
trying to smile. One child is picking their nose. Another child is upset
and has their arms crossed. The third child is sticking their tongue out.
Family dog in front of family. --ar 3:2 --v 5.2Don’t worry if the AI doesn’t catch all the details, it should get the basic idea of what you are going for. And by all means, change the prompt to your heart’s content! Try “Matching pajamas” or “Everyone wearing clown wigs” to get some variety.
Step 2
Create a Different Version For Each Recipient
Part of the fun here is that everyone gets a different card. If you have a list of 22 friends and relatives, create 23 distinctly different images (yes, create one extra, I’ll explain in step 6). Upscale them to 1,600 x 1,200 pixels or larger if you can.
Here are a few more of my wonderful Christmas sweater-themed images:
And this was a fantastic mustache-themed (throuple?) image too:
Step 3
Create a Card Design
If you have the software you can create a simple design like I did. A text greeting, a photo, and a border. I use Pixelmator Pro, but any design software can work.
If you don’t have software or the skills, you can use an online service, some suggestions are Walmart, CVS, Walgreens, Staples, etc. Use their free online card designers.
Remember, you can customize each card to a recipient’s Holiday belief system. Christmas, Hanukkah, Yule, Boxing Day, Kwanzaa or go with a generic Season’s Greetings or Happy Holidays if you like.
Step 4
Print Your Creations
I have a printer that can print 4" x 6" prints so I chose to print my own. But you may wish to use a local same-day printing service and order your 4x6 color, glossy prints with your card design.
That’s it, you can actually send a 4x6 as a Postcard in the US Mail system, all you need is a Postcard Rate or First Class Forever stamp.
Step 5
Address Your Cards
I printed address labels because my handwriting is very identifiable and extremely messy. But, you do you… handwrite your victim’s address on the back or use address labels. DO NOT include a return address if your intent is to prank… which is also why step 6 exists.
Step 6
Mail One to Yourself Too
Don’t forget this step! Create a card for yourself. Address it and add a stamp just like you did for the rest. This way, when your victims send you texts, you can reply with “OMG, I got one of those too! Who are these people?” and show them. This will take suspicion away from you as the perpetrator.
As you can see, my plan has already been set into motion!
For me, the payoff is the straight-up confusion. I can picture my Aunt asking my Uncle “Louis, who are these people?” and the reply from Aunt Bethany, “I have no idea, don’t you know?”
Also, I am dying to visit a relative and see the card hung up with all the other cards, so I can ask about it, “Hey Steve, who is this woman, and why does she have 6 fingers?”
Anyway, I hope you have some fun with your cards this year.
Merry AI Christmas to you and yours!
