Easy Street

Arego Mitchell
Jul 25, 2017 · 4 min read

Today marks my tenth as a gorgeous, naturally blonde woman. For the past week and a half the world has been my oyster and I have been shucking it’s brains out. The wondrous pearl has taken the form of brunches, cocktails, male attention, and children seen but not heard. It is everything I have ever dreamed of. My now straw-like locks, stripped of their natural melanin, have endowed me with an ego of Bieberian proportions.


This is my hair. I don’t wear wigs.

Western astrology is based on a Greek interpretation of Hellenistic and Babylonian traditions, so I am comfortable dismissing it as white people nonsense. I’m a Capricorn, and a quick google search tells me that, “[t]he most prominent qualities of the Goats, as they are called, are that they are ambitious, conservative, determined, practical and helpful.” I have never met a lazier, more liberal, less decisive, fanciful impediment to progress than myself. It’s insulting to people who actually possess those qualities to put me into the same group as them. I don’t know if any of the Capricorns in my life meet these qualifications or not (I’ve never paid attention as I could give a shit) but to me the whole institution smacks of desperation. In a desperate attempt to make sense of the constant shitstorm that is the average human life, we eagerly self-sort into any group that numb us to the reality of aloneness.

Interestingly, I do identify with this description of Cancers :

For Cancers, laziness takes root in their tendency to worry. There’s nothing less productive than just sitting around fretting about potential future negative outcomes, but this is a regular pastime for some Crabs. Eventually, all of this idle agonizing becomes immobilizing. Consequently, Cancers can end up overeating, sitting around or wasting their time on meaningless things in an effort to distract themselves from their emotions.

The nomenclature here is distressing. Cancer? Crabs? What the fuck. More distressing, though, is the thorough resonance my soul feels with this paragraph.


My new hair gleams yellow beneath a low-hanging bulb. The man across from me is talking, his handsome face doing confident gymnastics as he relates a story I don’t try to follow. I’m tingly but not drunk. I’m maybe buzzed but it’s weird because I’m only on my second glass of wine. Is this how life is, I think to myself, are all gorgeous naturally blonde women lightweights? I laugh in my head at my little joke. I’m having fun. The storyteller across from me is still going; he seems engaged to the situation in a way that makes me withdraw a little. He has a nice body that his shirt is showcasing distractingly. It’s hard for me not to continuously glance at the intriguing ridge where chest because stomach. Damn, I think. I squirm in my chair as I try to make my body look smaller.


I have regrettably little connection to my Mexican heritage but I’ve found that attempting to improve my Spanish and educating myself about different aspects of Native American culture and spirituality hints at roots. Whether any of the latter is more legitimate than its Western cousins is hard for me to say (especially with colonialism and all) but I’m more inclined to believe it. It feels more real to me.

According to one site I found about astrology based on the Mayan calendar (and which seems to have much in common with the Chinese zodiac), one’s astrological outlook is based on six different elements that work in parallel to describe your past, future, and nature. Two of those are the male and female signs, which represent extrovert and introvert qualities respectively. Heteronormativity aside, the most striking to me was the description ascribed to my feminine sign:

You have a mind that never gives up and needs constant stimulation. Therefore, you like to read, talk and communicate with people about every subject. …Your highly developed aesthetic perception, bright mind and humorous manner allow you to have a joyful life. Your magic secret to a healthy life is having the ability to keep your heart light and humorous even at the most difficult times. …In general, you are very lucky and you have a fortunate destiny. The Mayan sign Rabbit symbolizes luck just like in China and it has similar characteristics in the Chinese culture and astrology. Your prominent feature is your comfortable and easy going way in the “real” world. You can easily become successful and always fall on your four feet.


The date is winding down. We maintain a self-aware close-but-apartness as we walk away from the restaurant. It’s late but the sun is lingering just above the horizon, the surrounding townhouses cutting shadows into the warm summer light. My hair feels slightly flat in the humidity. My companion is chattering earnestly but I am focused on the affected rigidity with which he walks. What’s that about? I wonder to myself. I run my hand through my hair in a half-hearted attempt to add some volume.

As we approach the sign to which I’ve shackled my bike we turn to face each other. I’m struck by the incredible randomness of this situation. For as long as I can remember I’ve tried to reconcile the concurrent storylines of my life but looking into the eyes of a kind, handsome man, on a beautiful summer night, in a city I love, I can accept that the only unifying thread in my life is a gorgeous, naturally blonde woman.

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Arego Mitchell

Written by

beans/bikes/beyoncé knowles

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some things i think about

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