Getting Over with Getting Over

What does it take to get over someone?

Time. Maybe some more time. Night outs with your girlfriend, preferably getting drunk. Finding a new guy, a fling or maybe just some flirting. A chocolate tiramisu, pints of ice cream or maybe some pizza. Watching endless chick flicks fantasising about the perfect future guy (not to mention imaginary) or maybe just marking the days off the calendar gone without crying.

You’d be surprised by how many people share this same secret recipe and how none of it ever works out in the real sense.

Being one of many in that my-heart-is-broken crowd I used to think that it’s all a downward slope- once you decide what you want, all you have to do is roll along. But no, it’s just the opposite. You have to work your way up when it comes to getting over someone.

Overnight, our mind becomes an expert at being obsessive. All we seem to do is go over each detail so as to why we made those choices, why we took those decisions, why we continued to live in those fine lines marked with grimness when we were clearly unhappy. We contemplate what seems like our entire life, play the blame-game (just to lose every time), try to make sense of cobwebs of what we call our ‘feelings’ that suddenly seem woven only with threads of fears and insecurities.

Call it my ‘XY’ programmed mind being dramatic, or maybe its the curse of being a love pariah- what I had meant something to me but losing it meant so much more.

The funny(read: tragic) thing is we know the next corner we turn this would happen and we know the exact way it would happen. You might not realise it but what we call our sixth sense aka our subconscious, this angel, works day night to ring those alarm bells to wake us up from the illusion we call being in love.

But sadly it fails to prepare us, to give us strength to give up on something which ‘ups’ our dopamine centres so effortlessly.

And doesn’t matter how much we don’t want to think about them, more often than not they still cross our mind. And maybe just knowing that once in a while sometime quarter after one we cross their mind too (believe me you, we do), brings us some healing. Because why should you be the only one who find it so gruelling. Don’t get me wrong, but wanting the other person to struggle as much as you if not more is not wishing bad on them but just a way to restore your sense of worth, your being.

Then finally there comes a day, in between these back and forth head trips, you find yourself in a place where the words stop meaning anything to you. You stop feeling the compulsion to pick up your phone, you refuse to take those two steps backwards. In the light of each passing day your alone starts to feel better than being into someone. You reach a point where the softness starts to fade away and glints of steel start to form.

And that’s when my love you know you aren’t angry. You aren’t upset. You aren’t in pain anymore.

You are just over getting over.