How Often Do You Say It?
“I love you”
A phrase we have all heard one too many times. A statement that carries a lot of meaning and weight, yet is undervalued, overused and misunderstood. These three words have the power to bring smiles to people’s faces, make them feel special and above all, let them feel safe and secure. It carries a lot of meaning and responsibility along with people’s expectations . And so, it is important to be said only when you really mean it.
We often forget the potency that this statement carries. Some of us are guilty of saying this without realizing the true depth of this phrase. We are also witness to it being used as a casual phrase, a habit that’s automated rather than felt.
Love is a commitment. It’s about promising someone that their presence in your life is very important and undeniable. It’s about putting the other person’s interests and well being before your own. Love when felt in its most true form creates a sense of belongingness which provides strength to wade through the gravest of situations.
Love exists in varied forms in our lives. The very first kind of love that finds a place in most of our lives is the one that our parents shower upon us. This kind of love never ceases to exist. A love that is unconditional, never demands anything in return and is always there when we most need it. It’s not like our parents call us every day and tell us that they love us, it’s those small gestures of care and comfort we feel when we are with them.
Sibling love is no less important. Though they have a completely different way of showing their love, they do mean it. Even though there are fights and misunderstandings that occur often, they love you more than their own lives.
I am an all-or-none person. If I love, I love like there is no tomorrow. There’s never a gray area for me. Love, for me, is as serious as my very existence. I believe that love should be expressed and it should be shown in a way that the other person feels it. Unlike the popular belief, I do not think that expressing your love is uncool. Call me old-school, but holding hands is still the most simplest yet purest form of expressing what’s in your heart, and no one should be discouraged from doing what their heart feels right.
When it comes to the matter of the heart, nothing extravagant is required. That’s because small expressions, such as passing a secret smile, blowing a kiss, a tight bear hug reflects more interest and genuineness, than flowers, chocolates or even a luxury weekend getaway could convey. The thought behind a gift or gesture is better received when it is personal and humble.
It takes a deep and genuine connection to produce the kind of long lasting love and fulfillment a great relationship can provide. What has to follow next is the search for inner meaning in that relationship because everything may not be out in the open. It might not seem easy initially, but the act of trying means you’ve taken the first step which is usually the hardest.
Sensing and understanding what those unspoken words are even when your partner hasn’t expressed them, being able to appreciate and completely trust one another, going a step further and doing things they love, simply because it might make them feel better are a few things that brings clarity on what the relationship is all about. These things are very effective when it comes to a relationship that you share with your boyfriend or life partner. I believe that trying to understand the dynamics of a relationship, in a way, defines the importance of that relationship and the course it takes.
It is said that couples ideally should be like a shirt and a tie — it should be of the same colour. I think that they can be either the same or completely opposite — like a lock and a key — it depends on whether they are compatible, understand each other’s ways and accept one another for who they are and still choose to love unconditionally. Now this according to me, is the secret behind a successful relationship. The phrase — I Love You, then has a meaning in their lives.
I have had the opportunity to know many couples, who though being extremely different from each other, manage to embrace the qualities and flaws they possess. My dad and mum are one of those couples. My mother worries all the time. About everything. About something that has happened, something that’s been happening or something that might happen. I guess every mother is wired this way. My dad on the other hand, behaves exactly the opposite. He maintains a calmer and cooler picture. They balance each other and this, in fact, makes them a perfectly imperfect couple.
Every relationship in our lives deserves it’s own space and place, otherwise over time they wither and die. Accept the other person in the relationship for who they are, and not who you want them to be. That’s when the relationship blossoms, giving the phrase “I love you” it’s true essence when you say it.
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