Obsession And Love — Knowing The Difference
Relationships are complicated monsters. There’s a barrage of emotions and expectations that need to be weathered on your way to making it successful. The best ones are a constant effort from each side with a semblance to a healthy diet. The ones that aren’t, well, need to be acknowledged, worked on and celebrated!
Every relationship goes through a phase that stands its test of time. It’s always rosy and beautiful in the beginning. Your brain is being continuously flooded with the brain chemical — dopamine which is linked to feelings of addiction, craving and euphoria. This would be the initial stage of infatuation and everything from there on is a blur if it does not mature into a healthy relationship.
Most real relationships aren’t easy, they’re often bogged down by struggles and hurdles that make it difficult. Some relationships are deep rooted in infatuation and that’s where they often saturate. Some relationships can be extremely harmful and toxic and may cause more damage than a recent breakup or the tenth cigarette you’ve smoked in the day.
There’s a great difference between healthy relationships and bad relationships. The latter often transpires into unhealthy obsessions and emotional burnouts that are the most difficult to deal with. It’s important to recognise the signs and acknowledge the problems if you wish to work together through it.
Read on, to understand the warning signs in an obsessive relationship. Signs that you’re in an obsessive relationship may vary from person to person but the most evident ones are the hardest to miss.
Love is an endless routine. A tedious task. Every day. Every moment. (Literally)
Your partner constantly seeks your attention and makes veiled and unreasonable demands of time and effort without having the slightest consideration or understanding of the situation at hand.
The Unannounced Guest, Jealousy
When you’re probably enjoying a cup of coffee with someone of the opposite gender or cracking up to their jokes and you notice flames from your SO, that’s jealousy in an explosion waiting to happen! It’s difficult to have personal space when you’re constantly on a watch by your partner. But, as you might have heard, a little bit of possessiveness maintains the quirkiness in a relationship but it can be destructive when it starts to become overly excessive and intrusive of your space and privacy. If you start to give in, fear and obsession may soon start to become your companion.
Zero to Obsessively Possessive in a Few Dates
Your partner rushing into a relationship as fast as Usain Bolt rushing through the finish line when the relationship is fairly new, is worrisome. Often, a person with obsessive love will rush into things to have more control of the relationship and their partner. And we all know how annoying a clingy bae can be!
Sugar and spice and not everything Nice
If you often find yourself spiralling down with a mixed bag of feelings, there is a good chance that your partner is the controlling and manipulative one in the relationship. There’s a fair chance you’re in a toxic relationship if you find yourself being emotionally abused and blamed for while your partner uses guilt as a tool to control the relationship.
The Lonely Island of Miseries
You feel trapped and isolated in the relationship like you’re closed in a box and you’re not sure if a key exists. Relationships are a two-way street and work only when there’s a mutual understanding between partners. Being able to speak up in a relationship prevents miscommunication or brushes off any preconceived notion that might be creating a hurdle along the way.
The Wilted Rose
The clearest sign of any unhealthy relationship is when it stagnates and there’s no growth whatsoever, either personal or of the relationship itself. Any healthy relationship should create a space that encourages sharing and understanding and not just constant sacrifices or compromises to make ends meet.
The Belittled, Powerless you
If you’re often being critiqued, denied the truth or if you have ever doubted your sanity in the relationship, you might be have been victim to a psychological abuse known as ‘Gaslighting’. Gaslighting is often seen in toxic relationships and is seen as a tactic to gain power and make the other person question everything they were otherwise sure about.
The above should provide you with a checkpoint of obsession to stop/proceed in a relationship, as we did say, matters of the heart are not easy but they’re not nearly impossible as well.
Like they always say, if you see the pattern, an opportunity for change is not too far.
