The Descent Of The Friendzone
When Anjali in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai was friendzoned by the ever charming, ever dashing Rahul, everyone only laughed because Anjali was whacko. And when he came back after all his shenanigans, to a rather prettier, bling-ier Anjali everyone approved because obviously a prettier Anjali is an eligible Anjali. And just like that with iconic characters in the history of Television drama and movies, friendzone became a real thing.
Closer home, I found a post that was being shared on social media from a man whose “best friend” (quite evidently love interest) decided to marry her long term boyfriend. His post was as follows.
It’s fine, he loved her but she didn’t. He was sad and he took to the most commonly used (sadly) channel to share his sorrow. But what was even more astounding were the comments aimed against the said girl.
What is appalling is that the girl who did chose to say No is automatically the bad person because she broke his heart. Who cares about what she wants in life, right.
What’s worse?
Friendzone is an actual term for a pitiable state a person (usually men) can find himself or herself in, if the “friend” of the opposite sex, chooses to not reciprocate their romantic feelings. Get it? Like, If I am hitting on my guy friend and he isn’t quite into me, then I am friendzoned. And that is a state of utter sadness and I must be put on a pedestal because I suck at handling rejections and carrying on with my life without getting everybody involved.
According to Urban Dictionary and I quote the Bible of modern-word-meaning provider and cool-quotient enhancer.
A term many guys (and some girls) use when they have been rejected, whether it is straight out or inadvertently said. People tend to claim it is the other person’s fault and/or that they are a “friendzoning bitch” despite the fact that the person may really only like them as a friend, which is a false move seeing as that person believes they should fake feelings and be in a relationship.
And the best one yet.
A term often used in bitterness by men when women make the choice to not copulate with someone. Often used by douchebags or people with Nice Guy Syndrome.
So, here’s the issue. I don’t get why it’s so hard to accept the fact that your friend of the opposite sex does not look at you as anything besides a friend and wants no sort of romantic relationship with you. Is it that hard to understand that people can choose to be friends with some people but seek something else in a romantic partner? I also don’t get why this form of rejection is any harder than rejection in general by any person of the opposite sex who one pursues in the interest of romance. I mean, it makes sense if you are afraid of having massacred the friendship. That’s the right way to think. But in that case, wouldn’t you want to basically bury your head under a rock for ruining it? But no, being friendzoned kinda’ puts you on an agony pedestal and empathy flows your way as you not-so-privately sob about your misery. Why?
Why is this term SUCH a big deal that the internet has been going gaga over it since forever? Countless memes and videos aimed at taking a humorous dig at the friendzoner for putting the friendzonee in an apparent state of apathy, are doing the rounds and the masses are now convinced that being friendzoned is a really sad thing.
So what does one do if they do end up developing an interest in a great friend? If you can’t stomach it (which is highly recommended unless she has been giving you signs of interest too) then be the person who confides in honesty to get it off your chest. And if she expresses disinterest in beginning anything romantic, gauge the turn your relation takes from then on. If it looks like you guys can still be friends, great! If not, then move on with your life.
But most definitely don’t go on to accuse the girl for having hurt your feelings.
Recently, however, I saw the best thing doing the rounds on the Internet. Another word coined just to bash Friendzoning. And it’s aptly called ‘Girlfriendzoning’.
To quote the article I read, it’s the word for the pining blame men place on women for their own unrequited feelings, or for how some men completely lose interest in women as people once it’s clear she’s not interested in them sexually. It’s something done by a man who was never interested in anything but a sexual relationship in the first place, and tried to use faux friendship as a way to achieve sexual ends.
Finally a term that makes sense and is a befitting thwack in the face of a sobby Mr. Nice Man who patronizes with his situation. The one who evokes sympathy for being on the receiving (read losing) end of a romantic attempt at an otherwise absolutely normal friendship.
Well done, World. Justice has been served.
