After all, we all start out as strangers.
Me: You should go on a blind date.
She: Are you nuts? Who goes on blind dates any more? Do you know the kind of creeps out there?!
Sure, because incessantly stalking your friends and/or strangers on Facebook, Instagram, Kik and everything else is not creepy at all!
I’ve been lucky to be a part of the generation who had more friends offline than online and who relied on their instinct when it came to making new friends. I know that sharing one blind date experience is not enough to convince anyone to go meet new people, but eh whatever, it’s worth the shot. Keep in mind that this happened before India started depending on the plethora of social networking apps. The only help I had was an inactive Orkut profile, my friend’s word and my own gut to rely on.
It all happened thanks to a mutual friend who thought his childhood football buddy and I would be great for each other and that we should meet. Obviously I refused at first. Eventually I gave into peer-pressure and decided I’d want to see a picture first. My friend refused because he wanted the meeting to ‘elicit some natural reactions’ (Yes, I have quite strange friends). This mystery guy had a football as his profile picture on Orkut followed by many other football related posts. So I asked my dear friend to give up this crazy notion since I knew nothing about the sport, and hence we’d not work out. (Also, it was weird to go out with some random guy). Months later, when my friend randomly makes a movie plan, little did I suspect it would be his idea of a fun blind date. To make things worse it was the day I decided to wear my old jeans and a tee that read “Awkward is my specialty”.
But guess what, it went great. He was quite interesting and I enjoyed our conversation. We exchanged numbers and spoke quite often. However, we realised that we are way too similar in our thinking, preferences, family background and would be more compatible as friends. Years passed- we both fell in love with other people, but the friendship still remains. We still share long emails about our lives, love and beliefs and thank our destinies that we have this friendship to cherish. I know, the experience could have been a bad one as well. A 50–50 chance that this could have been a perv or weirdo who could have stalked me for the rest of my life. I decided to take the leap anyways and it worked out fine for me.
Fast forward today where the role of the mutual friend is played by the dating apps. Let’s be honest here — we’ve all tried out at least one of the dating apps out there today. Your question- how do we trust an app? Very simple- Choose an app that you’d want to be best friends with! If you trust the app with your pictures, contact details and other personal information then you should be able to trust the people on it. So choose your friends wisely (pun intended).
Getting back to connecting with someone online- we come across someone interesting, like their pictures, and maybe even initiate a conversation-the easy bit. Sadly, we become ghosts the minute someone suggests to take things offline. I agree, our society does have some unpleasant elements who are in abundance- on the streets, in clubs, bookstores, coffee shops- everywhere! The internet is filled with horror and comical stories of blind dates going absolutely wrong. Why do we seldom use the intuition and wisdom handed down by our forefathers? Don’t just blame the ‘date’- blame the friend (whoever or whatever put you up to this) and yourself too. Don’t crease your eyebrows just yet, let me explain.
Firstly, a date doesn’t have to be candle-light dinner in the middle of nowhere. It can be a public place in broad daylight. It could be just a cup of coffee, a movie or lunch maybe. In most cases, the place is something that is agreed by both the individuals. So if he/she is insisting on some weird place-that’s your red signal right there.
Secondly, it’s not necessary that one has to be romantically involved with the person they meet on a date. Sometimes it doesn’t have to be about falling in love. That one meeting could teach you something new, you might become good friends, your blind date might actually play cupid and find you your true love someday or maybe it was a good date and you decide to go your separate ways with absolutely no regrets because you don’t see it working out. In absolutely hopeless scenarios you’d have a great story to tell your grandkids.
Also, blind dates are a great way to know where you stand or what you want in life. For those who haven’t figured out what kind of a guy/girl you’d want to be with- this might be a great way to paint a picture. This is a great reality check because you are literally out of your comfort zone. Maybe you might not like what you see, or your date might not show up for some reason. It’s not the end of life. Like the wise man said, “a ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for”.
Lastly, for all those who have lived your whole life behind the virtual screens and have forgotten Dating 101- first impressions matters. Here are my C’s to dating- Charm (the key to win one’s heart), Confidence (dress up, show up and do your best), Congruence (just being comfortable in being yourself). Being all handsy and physical isn’t something MOST people enjoy on first dates. Most might think that blind dating is an access to casual encounters which is not true one bit. There are many who genuinely looking for something more meaningful and love courtship just as much.
So, who’s ready for a blind date?
