“Perhaps the most important reason for self-disclosure is that without it, we cannot truly love” — Sidney Jourard
Most people think that online dating is a game of looks and only the attractive ones stand a chance. That’s probably the only reason why the first priority while creating a profile on an online dating application is given to the profile photos while everything else in the profile appears to be average or below average.
People have mastered the art of taking deceptively good pictures of themselves and at times it gets quite difficult to tell if the person in those pictures could maybe hold a decent conversation in the offline world. While we can’t completely discard the fact that looks matter, what also needs equal and more consideration is how one speaks, which not only throws light on their language skills, but tells a lot about their intellect, sense of humor and their overall personality.
Words hold more power than the person who uses them. Words have the power to create something beautiful, be ignored or worse, destroy something that was meant to be.
And that’s why on Aisle we have ‘My Story’. A small space where the member gets to tell other members who he or she really is in 500 characters. In the case of online dating, the key to glue someone onto your profile in the first seven seconds and maybe feel persuaded to send you an invite, lies in those few lines you choose to reveal about yourself in your ‘My Story’ section.
What you say is as important as how you say it.
Adding a brief description about yourself, we believe is like self-disclosure. Psychology defines it as a process of revealing personal and/or intimate information about yourself to others. It can include one’s thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, and dreams, and is not just limited to one’s likes, dislikes, and favorites.
The first reason why people are usually hesitant while talking about themselves is because they are unsure how much one must reveal (or hide) for the other person to be impressed. This is followed by the fear of rejection after disclosing too much too soon. As much as it is a difficult task for many to talk about themselves to strangers, several studies reveal that self disclosure promotes attraction.
We are wired to feel a sense of closeness and empathy towards people who have their guard down and are okay with sharing their vulnerabilities. It starts with one person sharing something personal about himself which leads to the other revealing a bit of their life and the circle continues. This back and forth that stands the test of time forms a much stronger relationship than people who haven’t communicated enough in the initial months of dating. More the self-disclosure, higher are the levels of trust.
People quite often ask, so how much is too much information? Here are some things that’s always helpful while writing about yourself:
- While writing your ‘My Story’ section sometimes too much information might seem like a sign of desperation. The description should be crisp, brief and an easy read; something that makes the person give your profile a second thought and send you an invite.
- People with long bios that lacks feelings and is simply stating facts are usually perceived as boring and unimaginative. Creativity is all it takes to transition from being just another regular face to one-in-a-million. Quite literally!
- Trends show that grammar and spellings are also something people subconsciously pay heed too. So, if u tlk lyk dis, prepare to be on the bench a bit longer.
- From one liners to paragraphs, what impresses someone is how genuine you can be. Try to not copy content or pretend to be someone who is very different from your own personality. Genuineness and originality have their own perks in the dating world.
- And lastly, giving out personal information might seem smart and maybe save some money, but what’s the point of getting their attention by losing their respect?
