Two Hearts That Beat As One

“They didn’t agree on much. In fact, they didn’t agree on anything. They fought all the time and challenged each other every day. But despite their differences, they had one important thing in common. They were crazy about each other.”

This quote from The Notebook always resonated with what I had witnessed growing up. This may sound cliche, but I always wanted to recreate the relationship my parents share. There was a time I believed they were like every other couple, who were brought together by their parents, until the day I discovered something that changed my perspective about their relationship.

While dusting my parents’ room one afternoon, I came across a suitcase which was tucked under their bed. I had never seen it until then and being the curious person that I am, I was tempted to look inside it. To my surprise, I found numerous books, papers and cards all wrapped neatly in a cloth and kept safely inside, notwithstanding the condition of the suitcase. I untied the cloth that covered a bundle of cards and letters to realise that they were the beautiful poems my parents had sent each other before they got married. Yes! I read their love letters. Those poems had a lot of depth, meaning and affection wrapped in them. I was overwhelmed and touched when I understood the bond they shared even before they tied the knot.

From the very beginning, my parents knew that they were meant to be together for the rest of their lives. Since this was a kind of a love marriage, they had their fair share of difficulties but were adamant about being with each other. And guess what, they are one happy couple.

When I say happy, don’t get me wrong. I have seen them fight or disagree a number of times on the simplest of things. But even in that anger, they cared deeply for each other. I still remember the days, when we as kids, would become their messengers and try to patch them up. By dinner time if they were still not on talking terms, my Mum would be like ”See what your dad is up to and ask him to come eat”. Before we could do our duty as messengers, my dad would ask us, “Did your mum eat anything?”. And we would run from one room to the other carrying their messages. They have never stayed angry at each other for long or I should say they never could. They, before it’s too late, would find a way to make it up to each other somehow.

Being married to someone who’s very different from you is like a never-ending test of patience. Obviously this level of patience doesn’t come to us easily and is probably tested the most early on in the relationship and while discussing sensitive matters. When you spend a great deal of time with someone who is unlike you, you learn to understand and adore their differences which results in higher tolerance, compassion, and love in and around of your relationship.

Everyday I would watch my parents being two separate entities yet working perfectly together as a single unit. Even in their differences, there was harmony. While they never compromised on their own priorities,much to my surprise, they always managed to give each other the first preference in their life. Despite being brought up in completely different cultures they always empathised with each other and respected each others’ views and opinions.

I have often noticed that people with strong beliefs and opinions find it difficult to change. But if you give it a chance and see the bigger picture, you understand that varied opinions give you broader perspective of looking at the world. Respecting and openly listening to your partner’s worldview and opinions eventually builds a foundation of mutual respect. When you have more differences than similarities, you’re already expecting them to act differently than you, and that’s fine. The resulting acceptance will allow your partner to be the honest version of themselves.

We may not know exactly why opposites attract, but there’s no denying that opposites who are with each other can have extremely fulfilling relationships. Because for any relationship to succeed it is important to love and adore what makes your partner different.

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