President Trump: A dark and twisted dystopia

Imagining the hairpiece in the high castle

Jan. 20, 2017: Donald Trump will be inaugurated tomorrow as the 45th president of the United States. The incoming president requested attendees bring pepper spray to teach potential protesters a lesson about their “disgraceful” antics. The inauguration ceremony will take place at the Trump Tower in New York City at 12pm EST.

Feb. 2, 2017: According to President Donald Trump, there will be “a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States.” His newly-created agency, National Security Against Foreigners (NSAF), will monitor all Muslims already in the country. Additional bluetooth microchipping for constant surveillance will be rolled out in phases: phase 1 for all domestic Muslims, phase 2 for all domestic Mexicans and phase 3, TBD based on the winner of the next Miss USA contest.

May 5, 2018: To celebrate Cinco de Mayo, President Donald Trump began deporting 11 million undocumented immigrants. The mass deportation will effectively cripple the economies of immigrant-heavy states like Arizona, California and Texas. As a result of this exodus and the consequential protests, people are warning the three states will become known as “The New Detroit.”

Furthermore, Trump wants all remaining documented immigrants, specifically those of Mexican origin, to register as sex offenders as early as tomorrow.

Nov. 2, 2019: Last night, President Trump signed an order called Healthy Moms and Daughters that will defund Planned Parenthood and reallocate the money to build golf courses. To further show his commitment to women’s health, Trump has guaranteed unpaid sick leave to all women on their periods because he doesn’t want to hear about “blood coming out of [their] wherever.

Jan. 25, 2020: Three years into Trump’s presidency, after many vetoed climate bills, two states and dozens of coastal cities are now underwater. New Orleans, Los Angeles, Washington D.C. and New York City are among the hardest hit. After losing all of Florida and New Jersey, Trump officially removed two stars from the American flag, leaving it with only 48.

Aug. 7, 2020: When President Donald Trump signed the Strong Americans Anti-Vaccination Act last year, it mandated doctors drastically reduce the number of injections they give children. Many U.S. medical professionals have left the country out of frustration and fear. However, Orange County Housewives for Working Families, the biggest supporters of the bill, have vowed to never vaccinate their children again and encourage others to follow their lead. The U.S. is now grappling with an ugly polio resurgence and not enough doctors to handle the epidemic.

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