Where #ImFrom: A diagnostic question

By Anh Ho

As a doctor, I get some of the most personal questions: Is it serious? How long do I have to live?

But there’s one question I get more than any other: Where are you from?

Anh, right, with his older brother. (Photo courtesy of the author)

They ask me before we start the visit, at the end of the visit or any time there’s a moment of silence, the scribbling of a pen or the clicking of a keyboard. There’s no natural preface or context to ease into it. There’s just a jarring halt to an otherwise flowing conversation, similar to missing third gear and downshifting into first. It’s so common that it doesn’t startle me anymore.

I can’t even meet people halfway. Generally the first, second and sometimes the third answer is never enough.

Patient: Where are you from, doc?

Me: Well, where are you from?

Patient: Oregon.

Me: Cool, I’m from Virginia.

Patient: But, where are you from?

Me: Virginia.

Patient: No, no. Where were you born?

Me: Oh. Miami, Florida.

Another patient: “‘Anh.’ So is that, like, Chinese?” (It means “sunrise” in ancient Polynesia.)

At the end of the visit, he apologizes and says he doesn’t mean to offend “the Oriental people.” I am Pacific Islander. He has respect for “how smart you people are” because he’s traveled to over 40 countries.

Me: “It’s Asian people. ‘Oriental’ refers to rugs and other inanimate objects.”

When I was younger, it was typically Caucasians who wanted to guess where I should be from. But as I’ve moved through my career and worked in various parts of the country, I’ve found that it’s not just white-on-Asian. It’s every race for itself. I’ve had black patients, Latino patients, Indian patients, even other Asian patients interrogate me.

Taking off my white coat and stethoscope doesn’t remove the stereotypes or assumptions. People walk up to me when I’m having conversations, jamming their laptops or cellphones in front of me and asking if I’ll help them with FaceTime or iMessage.

Some people say that being Asian and being asked about our origins is a good problem to have. It’s better than being automatically judged on some negative racial stereotypes. But good problem or not, it doesn’t make it any less of a problem. No one wants to be marginalized or categorized like an object, regardless of the reason.

This is part of a series called #ImFrom, where members of the AJ+ community share personal stories about the question, “Where are you from?”