Millenial This. Right Here. And Beyonce Is An Alien.

A brother can’t roll like he used to no more. I am a hardcore GenX-Man, but more like Wolverine in Logan.

So.

I am at that age where my doctor visits now include 134.7% more prods, tests and invasive probes. I can’t grab the basketball rim or block the post like I used to (actually it’s been ages since I could), there is a lot more angst after a Vanilla Heath Bar Crunch binge with The Amazons (aka The Insurgents aka those strange little women posing as my daughters).

photo credit — NPR

And my eyes water with envy and my knees swear in disbelief as I watch online videos — via The Borg aka The Hive aka The Saved — of Beyonce twisting her knees and crouching inhumanely during her “yes, I am an alien and I will make you all my subjects” routines when she performs on stage in a litany of visual tropes that I will only say I watch under extreme duress.

A brother can’t roll like he used to no more. I am a hardcore GenX-Man, but more like Wolverine in Logan.

My man, Logan. Things are not as sharp as they used, right? Tell me about it, brother.

However, it’s not all about the physical. No, no, no….that is not a sad attempt to drop lines on a severely uninterested sister like the old G at the new nightspot in Kigali. No. What I mean is that mentally (and some times physically, goddamnit!) I feel as vibrant, energetic, lively as a maniacal twenty two year old running a massive machine language virtual reality IoT social mobile in the cloud bot network in Palo Alto. And you know what? I have proof.

photo credit — The Citizen Tanzania

What about you…do you want to know whether that beeper on your hip is still hip? What does your sneaker game look like, skaters or overly expensive Jordans? Or does the fact that your Mama told you (Mama!) to never sell work..aye…seventeen five, same color t-shirt make you current? If you don’t where that came from, yeah…you’re old.

Take this quiz from Pew. Takes no more than 3 mins. Really interesting stuff.

http://www.pewresearch.org/quiz/how-millennial-are-you/

My score, BTW? 92. As in…I am literally more Millennial than Drake and WizKid. I know. I have issues.

And I like it. Well, a little. Until my next physical.

Chidi.

NB* Beyonce is an alien. Has to be. No other explanation. And she’s having twins too? Oppression is a crime, resistance is futile.