I call this look…

Mitzi is looking for date.

By my mother, Susan Levinson

My friend, Estelle, told me everyone is using social media to meet guys. She’s been married twice, lived with Tony for 5 years before he left her for Jeff, and can read your aura with her eyes open so I feel she is a good indicator of the present social scene. I then signed up for my first tinder date. I don’t know if I swiped left or swiped right ( very touchy screen) but ended up with a text from Howie.

Howie lives in West Oakland, drives a Prius, and loves, loves, loves listening to Joni Mitchell albums. He was a break dancer about 10 years ago but retired when he broke 5 cheek bones while spinning on his head .Oh God, I love to dance and Joni too so it is must be kismet. He drives for Uber so I think he must be a rich techie, I think I have hit pay dirt.

A few things about my outfit. Can’t look desperate so will look casual. Must wear the hat. Howie thinks I’m 45 so need to hide behind my hat and a pair of Foster Grant’s. And God Forbid he tells me a joke. There so much Botox pumped into my face, I couldn’t crack a smile if I met Louie CK. And do not put your arm around my waist..I am sooo squeezed into my spanx, my muffin top has its own zipcode. I think posting my high school graduation picture might have been a little bit much.

Anyway, we are meeting at “Slur”, a new wine bar in the Castro. He said to look for a guy in leather chaps (so Jim Morrison) sitting at the bar. I hope he “Lights my Fire”. If he doesn’t”t, that’s okay too. Slur offers a senior discount during happy hour. So all will not be lost.