I Call This Look…

Jed, The Disrupter

Every morning at 5 a.m., Jed wakes up ready to disrupt. Without even thinking, he puts on his uniform: sensible black frames, some jeans, a hoodie that has the logo of his latest venture on it and orange crocs. He loves crocs because they don’t require socks. (He once forgot to pack socks on a trip to Chicago and had to go on the Oprah show without them.) But today is more important than Oprah. It’s a Big Day — the Series A pitch — where he will meet with a bunch of venture capital firms and ask them for millions of dollars. This is critical if he wants to change the world via an app that’s like Snapchat but for words (he already changed the world once with his last project, which was like Uber, but for feelings). Jed’s got to bring out what in Silicon Valley they call “the big guns” — the kind of outfit that landed him in Italian Vogue once.

He opts for the black and white checkered suit he got at a boutique in Vail and heads downstairs to the starkly designed kitchen (concrete countertops, absolutely no visible appliances, chrome on chrome on chrome). Jed gave up drinking espresso a year ago when he invested in a Kombucha company that claims it will replace coffee within the next five years and can slow the process of skin aging by 73%. (He’s also vegan, well, actually, a lactose intolerant pescetarian, but who cares.) He takes a gulp and tries not to gag, as he looks out the window at the beautiful avocado trees in his yard. He tries to summon the calm and strength he gained from his last mediation retreat in Costa Rica. “You Are A Beautiful And Strong Butterfly Still In Its Cocoon,” he thinks, as he turns to his Apple Watch and Slacks his assistant: “you can’t forget the branded cake pops this time. very important.”