Pizza Witch Fortune Telling Cards
Designer/Illustrator Courtney Andujar was inspired to make her own fortune telling cards when she used a friend’s Gypsy Witch set, which hark back to 1903. They are based on a system created by Madame Lenormand, “mystic to the wealthy and powerful of 19th century Europe.” Courtney thought they were fun but outdated: They use traditional Christian imagery of a church, wedding ring, and children. The bride card, for example, means “fulfillment of highest aims.”
For her own deck, Courtney mixed in the best of tarot and her own life (420, tattoos, etc). Alana Zine is honored to present you with her deck, the Pizza Witch Fortune Telling Cards, which you can print out and use. Or better yet, make your own!
Card Meanings
The Abyss ► a crisis
Alcatraz ► limitations, usually self-imposed
The Balaclava ► a threat
The Bermuda Triangle ► a loss, or being lost
Binary Star ► a strong connection with someone
The Black Widow ► seductiveness; irresistibility
Blaze It 420 ► need 2 chill
Cabin in the Woods ► need for meditation and introspection
Calling the Corners ► a small powerful group of friends
Corny Teenage Poetry ► all-consuming new crush (or crushes)
Dagger Eyes ► an enemy in your midst
Feminine ► one of the two signifier cards, the other being “Masculine.” The Feminine and/or Masculine card is at the center of each reading and is always left out of the deck, never shuffled and dealt. You can choose to use one or both signifiers, depending on how you feel at the time of the reading. If using both, stack them with the more dominant one on top.
Field of Poppies ► complacency
Ghosts of the Past ► someone of something from your past that’s suddenly resurfacing
This Glorious Bear ► a stroke of genius
Heart-Shaped Jacuzzi ► serious infatuation
Hernando’s Hideaway ► harboring a secret
Jack Torrence ► too much working, not enuf living
The Kraken ► an intensifier; makes more extreme whatever card it points toward. If the Kraken is not pointing at a card, rotate it 180 ̊
La Llorona ► family strife
The Lusty Lady ► someone has their eye on you
The Magic Eight Ball ► indecision, uncertainty
The Makeover ► a change in the way you look or act
Masculine ► one of the two signifier cards; see “Feminine” for more info
Medea ► rage
Miss Cleo ► confidence in upcoming decisions; self-assurance
Mosquito in Amber ► success in business
The Mystery Text ► potential to meet someone new and exciting
The Purring Cat ► neediness; badgering your friends for attention
Purse Full O’ Snakes ► trying to impress someone, usually by misrepresenting yourself
Ramen Noodles ► worrying about $$
Sad Girls Club ► wallowing in despair
The Sailboat ► a trip or voyage
Selena ► achievement of highest aims
The Serpent ► health
Scrooge McDuck ► windfall; coming into $$
Slam Dunk ► success, especially in relation to a certain project
The Slasher Flick ► bracing yourself for something bad that, in actuality, will never come
Smell Yo Dick ► jealousy or mistrust, usually unfounded
Spring Break ► careless flirtation
The Stick-N-Poke ► recklessness leading to good times
Synchronized Swimmers ► being surrounded by a solid crew of friends with whom you are completely in sync
Table for One ► happiness being alone with yourself
The Vagrant ► relocation; feeling restless with your surroundings
The Vampire ► someone or something that’s draining your energy
Vertigo ► confronted with the future; usually involves having to face big decisions or evaluating your path
Instructions
Choose your signifier card(s) [“Feminine” and/or “Masculine”] and place it/them down at the center of where the reading will take place. Deal a ring of cards around the center card, and then deal a second ring of cards around those. See diagrams below for options. The inner circle of cards represents forces acting on you inwardly — inner conflicts and struggles. The outer circle of cards represents external forces acting upon you and can be taken more literally. Read each circle starting with the inner cards first, beginning with the top or top left corner and moving around clockwise. Next read the outer circle, starting from the top left and reading clockwise.
