A Letter to My Son on His (Second) First Day of School

Alan Bentrup
Hope Springs Eternal
3 min readSep 2, 2014
IMG_0494-1

I published a version of this letter last year, and plan to continue the tradition. The things we both learn each year will continue to shape the form of this letter, but two things always will remain. 1) God loves you. 2) I am very proud of you.

As you begin your journey, I want to share some advice (much of which I learned the hard way).

Learn to be a fried

You’ll have some new kids in your class that just moved here, and you know what that is like. Your Mom and I moved you across the country last year, and you made some great friends. This won’t be your last move. I apologize in advance for the times we will uproot your life and plop you down in a new situation, with new people. Learning to be a friend now will make those transitions so much easier. You are outgoing and friendly, so it should continue to come easily.

You like being around people, and people seem to like being around you. Embrace that.

Don’t bully

You’ll probably be among the biggest kids in your class. You always have been. Don’t let that fool you in to thinking you can do what you want, when you want.

Be nice. Play fair. Share. That advice will take you a long way in life.

Don’t let others get bullied

Again, you’ll be one of the biggest kids in your class. With that comes an opportunity to stand up for those that need it. Don’t hit, kick, or push others. But if you see another child being picked on, bullied, or beat up, and there is no teacher around, protect that child however you must. Think of Elastigirl’s words to Violet and Dash on the island. The Incredible’s main family rule was to never use their powers in public. But in this instance, to save someone, Dash and Violet were told to do what they had to do. #BAM.

Help those who need help. If you get in trouble, I’ll fight for you.

Grades are important

You’re a very smart kid. You can do anything you want with your life. But in order to have opportunities down the road, you must work hard from the start. Your Dad was a smart kid, and I was able to coast by in school for a long time. Then came college, and my “coasting by” turned in to pretty crummy grades.

Learn from my mistakes, and never stop studying, working, and giving it your best shot.

Grade’s aren’t that important

There will be sports, clubs, activities, plays, band, dances, and girls. It will all be fun, and it will all be worthwhile. I have a terrible undergraduate GPA, but I still had a successful career and made it in to grad school. In part because sports taught me to lead, a job taught me time management, and I met a girl (your Mom) who turned my life around.

Studying and getting good grades is important, but learning to live life, balance life, and be a well-rounded person is more important.

Teachers/coaches are here for you

You should know this, because your mother is an amazing example. So is your Maw, and some of you aunts, and cousins, and more family friends than you can count. Mrs. Wells showed me that I can learn anything. Mr. Strother showed me how much fun learning can be. Coach Roberson showed me that I can do more and go further than I thought I could. And Dr. Andresen taught me to never give up.

Mrs. Lutz taught you that you can love school.

Listen to your teachers. They will change your life.

Mom and Dad are here for you

Good days, bad days. Green days, red days. Good grades, bad grades. We are always there for you.

Never forget that we love you.

We’re in this together. I begin my second year of seminary on the day you begin first grade. Both of are lives are changing, and we are walking this journey together. You and I will spend plenty of time studying, doing homework, writing, and learning new and wonderful things.

I can’t wait for our adventure to continue.

--

--

Alan Bentrup
Hope Springs Eternal

Priest in The Episcopal Church. Co-founder and curator of Missional Voices. I write about mission and innovation in the Church. I root for Frogs and Rangers.