The Sweetest Melody Ever Heard
Your Honorable Governor Gavin Newsom,
This letter cannot express my deepest gratitude, but I hope it at least partially captures my sincere thanks for what you have done for my family and me. A month ago, I was in the Yuba County Jail, days away from deportation to a country I fled as a child, when my partner told me that you had granted me a pardon. My ears were humming with the sweetest melody that I’ve ever heard.
I’m grateful to be out, with my family, and back at work with a promotion. I can finally enjoy my life and see the world the way I never truly saw it before. The air and sunlight never looked and smelled so beautiful. I owe this freedom to you. I feel refreshed and reborn like a phoenix, and I hope others can feel as good as I do today.
For over 20 years there have been countless nights when I stayed up, worrying about being separated from my family because of my deportation record. Stress and guilt over past mistakes took a toll not just on me but also on my family and loved ones. Tormented by my past, I sometimes allowed fear to get the best of me and slipped into depression.
Even though today I’m a law-abiding person who simply wants to work hard, support my family, and give back to my community, it felt like I would never escape my past. I’m grateful that people who knew me — my family, friends, community, attorney, and advocates knew that I was truly a changed man and that they were able to express that to you.
Like me, so many others feel trapped because of their past criminal record. Like me, a single mistake shouldn’t define who they are as a person for the rest of their lives. They move on from their checkered pasts and become family members, business owners, educators, and volunteers. All they ask for is a second chance. Yet, too often there is no way to escape the label of “felon.”
A quarter-century after my crime, the label of felon didn’t just impact me but also everyone around me. During my two months in detention, I watched my partner, Ruth, struggle. She carried the weight of being a single mom, a working woman supporting the family without my paycheck, a daughter and caretaker to her 80-year-old mother, and advocate for me. At the same time, her organs were failing, leaving her exhausted and terminally ill. She was unable to take care of herself because she was worried about losing me and putting food on the table. Thankfully, our community was there to support her.
Some nights her condition became so unstable that she was forced into the hospital. Our son, only three years old, bounced between homes and struggle with feelings of being abandoned by both of his parents. Today, I can still see the fear of losing us again in him. He won’t let us out of his sight. No child should have to live with that fear or grow up without both of their parents by their side, but I know many children do because of deportation.
I can’t imagine if I was never able to hug my son again. I will never forget or stop thanking you for what you have done for him and my family. I pray and hope that other Cambodian refugees and immigrants can have a second chance to stay in America with their families.
By the way, my partner Ruth wanted me to mention that if you are ever back in San Francisco to please come visit her at her work site. She works at the homeless shelter at the Division Circle Navigation Center as a case manager. She would love it if you paid a visit to see all the good work that they are doing for the public.
Thank you for taking the time to read my letter.
With immense gratitude,
