The Precontemplation Stage with EFT Tapping
In this series articles I have attempted to explain how EFT Tapping can be used in each stage of the Cycle of Change model. This framework is useful to understand how we all change our behaviours and my aim here is to dive into each stage to look at what role EFT can play in addressing the specific challenges to each of them and how it can move us quicker between stages.
Precontemplation is the first step in the Stages of Change model I wrote about in my previous article. Do you remember what the main characteristic of the pre-contemplation stage was? In a nutshell, complete and utter denial. The phrase that I chose to sum it up, was, in fact, “I don’t have a drinking problem!” — or whatever the problematic behaviour is.
In this phase I am not interested in the slightest in changing my behaviour and I am in complete denial of the impact that my habit has on myself and all the people around me. I am not aware of how damaging my behaviour is. Or maybe I am, a little bit, because I have had hints from friends or family, and I might have made some attempts to change by I have since thrown the towel.
How realistic is it, really, to expect that at this stage, being someone who does not believe that they have a problem, I would seek help? In my experience, extremely rare. If I don’t see the ripples that my behaviour creates, how it impacts the quality of my relationships, my life and my work, how can I be in the right frame of mind to start questioning myself and my actions?
But I do remember this stage in my life, and, because of personal issues that were not related to alcohol, I had been in therapy for some time — Gestalt therapy to be specific. I was on anti-depressants, despite being highly reluctant to taking them, and drinking heavily on them, like a lot of us unfortunately do. And never for one second I had even contemplated that my depression could be aggravated by my alcohol use. The things I didn’t know then!
As time went by, and the snowball of the consequences became bigger and bigger, I decided that I had to stop. I don’t remember being led to this turn by my therapist. It was a conclusion I came to on my own because I had had enough and something had to change.
This one that I have just described is one of at least two possible scenarios where someone in this stage of the cycle might end up sitting in front of a therapist or coach. Another crisis has erupted in your lives, which might or might not be caused by your drinking or substance habit, and you decide to seek professional help.
The other one that comes to mind, is when that decision is pushed by an external party — a loved one, dear friend, partner, manager or even a judge.
How can I address either of these scenarios with EFT?
Whether I am choosing to be in a therapeutic setting because what brought me there is not linked to my alcohol use or I am there unwillingly, in EFT we learn that, as a client, I need to be met exactly where I am and the practitioner I have in front of me will tap with me on whatever I am presenting with right here right now.
Let’s suppose that, taking a real-life example from my own past, I am angry because a friend has made a remark about me pushing it too far with alcohol on a night out, that’s what we will tap on, with no judgement or hidden agenda. Because that is what I am feeling in this moment. The role of an EFT Practitioner is not to offer me their perspective, is to help me, find a different one, by myself. Good practitioners facilitate, they neither teach nor impose their views on you.
If we look at the second scenario, the one where I am reluctant to be there, again, that is exactly what we would tap on. That’s the only thing a good practitioner can do at this point. As a client, I can’t be forced to tap on something if I don’t see it as a problem, nor it would be the appropriate road to take. What we would do is tap on whatever I am feeling in this moment in time. I could tap, for instance, on how it feels to be “obliged” to be there, whether as a result of a court order or because I want to appease my partner who has begged me or warmly recommended that I seek help.
The set-up statement* might look something like this: “Even though I feel so angry in my [part of the body where you feel the emotion, e.g. belly) because my partner wanted me to have this session, I accept that this is what I feel right now”. After one or two full rounds or tapping on all the points, the intensity of the anger is likely to decrease and become frustration instead; then the frustration might dissipate completely and I might actually start to comprehend or even feel empathy towards the person who has asked me to see the professional because I am now feeling quite neutral about the whole situation and am able to look at it from another viewpoint. The initial feeling will usually change and morph into something different. Which is what in EFT we call “cognitive shift”. The same process would apply to the previous example, the one about me being angry with the friend who made that remark.
At this point, we could also include, always whilst tapping, a reassurance that right now in this moment I don’t have to make any changes that I don’t either want to or am not ready to make. We all know what the most long-lived changes are the ones that stem from us, not the ones that are imposed on us.
At this stage of the cycle, you are not ready to stop drinking, but there will be other emotions and feelings that will be bothering you, that are fogging your mind and are clouding your judgement on what it is that you want and, maybe, the reason you are engaging in that behaviour. By tapping on the periphery of what is going on for you, we can start to slowly dissipate that fog so that you can make more informed decisions on your life.
And it may be, by doing that, the time laps between the Pre-Contemplation and the Contemplation stage becomes narrower than it would be without EFT sessions if you were left just to your own devices. The aim is to release the pressure and the stress that you feel, so that a better solution can appear on the horizon.
*The set-up statement is the first part of the Clinical EFT session protocol where we acknowledge the issue we are experiencing. For an overview of the EFT process, please read page 9 of the EFT International manual here.
