The Preparation Stage with EFT Tapping
In this series articles I have attempted to explain how EFT Tapping can be used in each stage of the Cycle of Change model. This framework is useful to understand how we all change our behaviours and my aim here is to dive into each stage to look at what role EFT can play in addressing the specific challenges to each of them and how it can move us quicker between stages.
The focus of this article is the Preparation Stage.
The phrase I used in the article where I introduced the Stages of Change model to describe the preparation stage is “I need to do something about this”. If that’s where you are, the needle of ambivalence is moving, the seesaw of the indecision between walking on the thin tight rope of drinking and getting off it on safe ground of sobriety is shifting. In this stage, the cons of drinking have started to up-weigh the pros — even though the pros of staying sober have not completely won over the cons of drinking yet because in this stage we are still active in our habit.
This is a very fragile place to be at because, as I wrote, your habit hasn’t still stopped, but your ways of thinking are shifting. You’re on the cusp of reaching that awareness where you know what you are supposed to do in order to get well and recover your health, both mental and physical. This is a very uneasy and somewhat shaky position to be in because you know what you will be walking away from but you are still uncertain of the shape this future alcohol-free you is going to take. The identity that I spoke about in my previous article has not yet been moulded, and at this stage probably that future place doesn’t seem that bright, even though it probably beats the gloom that is surrounding your current inner emotional landscape. Using Tolkien’s imagined mythology, you are living in Middle-Earth.
What do we need when we feel fragile and vulnerable, when we feel like we are making the right decision but we are unsure how that is going to impact our life and we cannot imagine our new configuration in the world? What did I need when I was walking on edge on that no-man’s land, knowing that what I had to lose what I had, that immense force that had sucked in most of my life like a liquid black hole? I needed a non-judgemental hand that would accompany on my journey side by side, without pushing me, without expecting me to stop drinking right away but allowing me to explore the turmoil and fears I was experiencing, without time limits.
What a skilled EFT practitioner can offer at this stage is providing the opportunity for the client to “prepare” all the steps that will enable them to then take resolute action and start their process to free themselves from the grips of alcohol. What these steps look like depends entirely on the person, but one rule of thumb is that for the action to be successful, the preparation needs to involve breaking down all the triggers, both practical and emotional, that would disrupt your action plan.
How can I make a successful plan?
For example, if you have agreed with your therapist that your first goal is to achieve a full sober week, we would first tap on any emotions that surface in your mind and body at the thought of that; a following step could be to pinpoint/work out/single out/ when you’d be most likely to want to drink, because in order to break a habit that is ingrained, we need to “dis-ingrane” it, we need to make conscious what is unconscious, and we know that EFT is great for doing that because it manages to fish out what has sunken and bring it back to the surface.
Another step that can be taken could be to decide what you need to put in place in your life — or remove from it — in order to set yourself up for success. A practical example of that would be to communicate to your friends or family that you are taking a break from drinking. That is a conversation that some people decide to have, but that can bring up a lot of fears and concerns, so neutralising them by tapping on those emotions can really help someone to become stronger and confident so that they can hold that difficult conversation; it can also prepare them to face whatever reaction they might receive from it.
For instance, if you think that one of your friends are going to be disgruntled or unsupportive of your choice, which sometimes does happen, we can imagine that future scenario, tap on the emotions that picturing that happening brings up and decrease or neutralise them. By doing this, you will probably be able to come to the other side knowing, not only cognitively but in your core, that your friend’s reaction had nothing to do with you and are able to find your own personal way to tackle that particular circumstance.
The Preparation Stage is also the time to outline all the multitudes of advantages that stopping drinking will flow into your life. We must not forget that this stage is still a place of uncertainty so whatever we can do to reinforce our “whys”, the reasons we are starting this revolution and all the rewards, benefits and assets it will generate, have to be conceived and then reinforced. And, thanks to EFT, these can be emotionally accessed by the clients who can imagine how they will feel when they project themselves in the future. If by imagining all those scenarios some resistance ensues, which is very likely to happen, then we get curious about it, we explore it and we tap it out so that it can free our way from any possible blocks that may obstruct the creation of a rewarding future alcohol-free life.
As with all the stages, we don’t know how long each of them are going to last and certainly we don’t want to feel pushed to stop when we are not ready to fully commit to it. I know how important it was for me to feel that the professional in front of me did not have that kind of expectations of me. Of course, as a practitioner I want you to stop drinking, if that’s what you want. That’s why folks come to see me. But it’s not my role to push them to stop. A skilled EFT practitioner has done their own internal work, is going to challenge you and work with what you and provide a safe and stable presence so that we can make your informed decision. And, I also believe, that through this process, we can make the transition between stages smoother and quicker than if you were doing this on your own.
