AMA: Transgender girl
Ask Me Anything
Original post on Facebook.
A few months ago, I did a sudden Q&A and it was a huge success. But most of it was in Spanish, and I’d like to share it with all of my friends, including those who only speak English, that’s why I decided to write this post.
I know sometimes it is kind of hard to know how to treat a transgender girl, and i hope this will help people to better understand us overall.
I will skip some unrelated questions.
Q: what do you do to always look so pretty?
A: face scrub, some makeup and a cute girlfriend.
This was submitted by my girlfriend, an even cuter girl.
Q: what is the meaning of life?
A: 42.
Obvious answer!
Q: are you going to officially change your name?
A: I’d like to if i'm able to.
I don’t like my first name at all, and I’d like to change but it is a pain in the ass, especially with my school certificates and all that. I’ve had many Asian friends that do live their daily lives with a different name while only using their legal name for paperwork, I think I can live with that. Btw I’ve been thinking of using Jade Alexandra Figueroa Perez as my full name. It matches my legal initials.
Q: How did you decide it was time to take the next step? (Different question, same answer)
Q: How did you find out (you were transgender) and do you plan to undergo (sex change) surgery?
A: I‘ve known I’m like this since I was like 5.
At the end of high school after i went through some episodes of depression, I decided to be myself.
But in college my engineering courses were mostly filled with males, who, after seeing pictures of me being “different”, had a rude attitude towards it. I ended up repressing it. That is why I remained a sad male, but then after graduating and finding a nice job, I realized I could finally be myself and be successful at the same time. So here I am, happier than ever.
And nope, I’m ok with my sex, it’s just the gender that is an issue. People that also undergo surgery are transexual.
TL:DR I like to look like a girl, but that doesn't mean I need to cut some things off.
Q: How do you explain to other people the difference between Transvestite and transgender?
A: A transvestite is a person that uses clothes usually worn by the opposite gender, but doesn't have any desire to behave or be treated as the opposite gender; for example a man that wears a skirt, just because he wants to, but doesn't really want to be a female.
A transgender person is more extreme than that. A transgender person is a person that will behave and wants to be treated as the opposite gender usually does.
I guess this is pretty straightforward
Q: What insecurities do you still have when going out dressed as opposite gender?
A: One of the biggest issues I face is when for whatever reason I cannot fully pass as girl, then some people use male pronouns or talk to me as a male, that makes me sad.
In Spanish we have a feminine/masculine way of referring to everything, EVERY SINGLE THING. So it is especially noticeable when I'm not looking as girly and people just call me guy. That is heartbreaking for a transgender ongoing a transition.
Q: Which is the kindest gesture you have received regarding your gender?
A: Definitely my girlfriend, all my girl friends and acquaintances that even though not so long ago I was still a boy in their lives, they truly treat me like another girlfriend (or girlfriend 😉). And also that we are confident in trusting each other with women-only issues.
This is especially meaningful to me, I love how people that have embraced my new me are treating me like the girl I always felt I was. This makes me feel stronger and encourages me to keep working harder, especially because I know my previous male life still gives me away sometimes. Like with my sturdiness.
Q: Something mean?
A: Definitely the worst I've been told is that people that accepted me actually didn't love me, and they didn't care about me. Also I was told I was a double abnormal person because I was transgender and at the same time I had a girlfriend.
Yeah, that person was crazy as fuck, but luckily I’ve put distance between us.
Q: Do you plan on having kids, If so, by which mean would it be?
A: Yeah, I'd actually love to have many. Some of my own, some adopted. I really want to adopt asian kids. But anyways if for some reason i'm unable to have my own, I'd adopt. I believe how you are born is not as important as how you are raised.
Pretty much, I love the idea of having kids, even if we don't share blood lineage.
Q: What advice would you give to someone who is in the acceptance phase of gender transition (Born male but feel like they are not) regarding to the society acceptance?
A: Try everything and don't be afraid. Trust your friends, because most of the time they are the only people that truly support you, and usually that is more than enough.
The society, the society is a bitch. But with time you learn to give zero f*cks about people that are bitchy.
Q: How much does your girlfriend's opinion weight on your self acceptance?
A: with girlfriends it is really hard, there are 3 possible outcomes, that she feels uneasy, that she doesn't care or that she likes it. And she is totally right to feel anyway she feels. I had good luck of having a lovely girlfriend, and she totally loved it, and that definitely hasted the process of self acceptance, but regardless of her opinion I had already decided.
I love my girlfriend for loving me just the way I am, but if she had decided to end our relationship due that, I'd have understood.
Q: What is your sexual orientation?
A: mmm sexuality is as complex as gender itself, I like both men and women, I just like my partner to be feminine. Based on several theories I could be either Bisexual, Pansexual or even Homosexual (Lesbian). But I'm not really sure which one is completely accurate.
… and sincerely I don't care.
Q: For someone like me that got to know you as Jorge, is sometimes confusing to decide on how to address you, I know everyone calls you Ale, but regarding (I forgot the name), how should I treat you, as feminine or masculine?
A: Feminine
Yes, pretty much treat me as any other girl you have ever known.
Q: Does your workplace knows about it? Because it is a common problem that transgender people are discriminated in their workplace or that they are hired with low wages
A: Everyone in the Colima and Redwood City, CA office know about it. And I'm paid exactly the same as everyone else, I've also had some lead roles in some projects. Luckily, everyone is nice with me, and encourage me. Progressly is an LGBT+ inclusive company.
This also means a lot to me, being able to be myself in my own workplace boosted my confidence like a lot.
Q: Would you teach me to dance in high heels?
A: Sure
This is a fairly common one, it is not a big deal to dance in heels, just a matter of practice
Q: How has your life changed now that you are more open about your gender? I don't mean about how everyone else sees you, but how do you feel
A: I have noticed two changes, I'm way more sensible than before, in part due to hormonal changes, and in part because I no longer feel like repressing myself, and even though I may have looked like a cold-headed person, I have always been sensible but as I said, I was repressing myself.
Also I'm really really happy. The fact that I'm not able to be myself gives me a tranquility and happiness feeling that is indescribable. Is taking a huge weight off your back, every single time I was called "him", "Jorge", etc… I felt a pain within me. But now, not anymore.
Like really, I felt really bad whenever I was addressed as a boy. Imagine that for 20 whole years, that is why I feel so relieved now.
Q: Will the day that we dance with the skirts you brought from Korea ever arrive?
A: I hope so
Funny story. Two years ago I bought some skirts for my dance crew, they were supposed to be for a performance, but it is time that performance hasn't arrived.
And this is it, I love to answer questions, feel free to ask me anything whenever you have a doubt. I love talking about things, specially myself.
I hope this helped you to better understand what is inside a transgender girl's mind.
With love to all my readers… Ale ❤️
