LIFE LESSONS | SELF IMPROVEMENT
Dancing with Fate: Loving Life as it Unfolds
You know, I am most unhappy when I wish to be someone else, somewhere else, or with someone else. When I critique my choices, effectively invalidating my “failures” or rather, learning curves that taught me what I didn’t want I free myself to dream again. By invalidating my experiences, I discard the good that came from them: the people I met, the memories I made. Then, I was taught two phrases that completely changed my perspective, freeing me from the lie that is tomorrow, and the need to exist in a different reality where I am someone “better” essentially saying I am not enough, thereby crushing who I am now.
The first phrase I learned was Anicca the nature of impermanence.
It means nothing lasts forever. Of course, we grasp this; we see it every day. A child is never a child forever, and we cherish its growth, nurturing it with food, clothing, love, and support. When it tries to crawl, we clap in joy. As a society, we encourage innovation, new ideas, and change even when met with resistance, there is, at some point, an innate recognition that cannot be stopped. This is respecting life, honoring time. When we truly comprehend that nothing is forever, we become more accepting of our now, our already-made choices. This opens the door to fully appreciating our current reality, and when it is gone, we can completely let it go.
This acceptance is a gift because, when we are not bound by memories of the past or the “what-ifs,” we are freed from expressing regret over what we might have done differently or from delusions of managing the same moment better in the future.
This leads me to the second phrase: Amor Fati love of fate.
To love fate means to embrace every moment as it is, not as we wish it to be. When we love something, there is peace in it, happiness, and most importantly, vulnerability. To love is to be open, to allow yourself to be seen in all your imperfection.
To love your choices, no matter how tragic they appear or how painful they might feel in the moment, is to love yourself and to love life. It’s to say and mean,
“I made this choice. I love this choice. It has led me to this moment, which brings me joy. Let me enjoy this moment and all it has to offer.”
Or, “I made this choice, and I hate it. But let me learn from it. Let me see if it is an opportunity to grow, or simply to understand that this is not what I want, who I am, or what aligns with the future I see for myself.”
After this moment is gone, you let it go with satisfaction and gratitude that you were alive to live it. You did just that lived it. And now, you are a different being, changed somewhat by the journey and ready for the next chapter.
We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. — Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.
So, my fellow beings, drink from the fountain of life, reveal in the shared human experience, and be brave in your choices, no matter the consequences.
