LIFE LESSONS
When 'No' Means More: The Pain Behind the Word
Rejection isn’t just a word; it’s a reminder, a wound that never fully heals.
It’s not about being told “no” by someone it’s about every past experience of abandonment and pain resurfacing, all at once. To me, rejection feels like confirmation that I am not enough, and no amount of rationalizing can make it hurt any less.
I suppose some might call it not taking a “no” well. They say, “It’s not a no, it’s a ‘you need something different,’ or ‘it wasn’t made for you,’” or any other rationalization that softens the blow. But to a heart that still suffers from unhealed wounds, rejection is more than just a no. It’s a reminder of deeper, older pains.
My first experience of rejection wasn’t from a job or a friend. It was my first love, who left me without warning, handing me over to the arms of a stranger. He didn’t leave for something better, but something worse. That betrayal broke something inside me, a part that still feels the sting every time I hear the word “no.”
My father told me to go, to leave if I wanted my own life.
“Fine, go to your new father,” he said.
I was just a child, one who trusted and loved him with everything. And yet, all he had to say was, “Take your love and leave.” That pain doesn’t just go away. It lingers, hidden, waiting for the next rejection to bring it back to the surface.
Some wounds don’t heal. They lie dormant, waiting for a “no” to reawaken them, to remind you of what you’ve lost. Over time, the pain might dull, and you might forget to remember those moments on most days. But deep down, they’re still there, and they come back as sharp as ever when someone tells you, “No, I don’t feel the same way.”
Rejection isn’t just a single moment it’s an echo of every hurt you’ve ever felt, all layered on top of each other. And while you can learn to live with it, to move forward despite it, the wounds it leaves behind are never truly gone.
