My Assistant

The most interesting feature of Google Photos is the poorly named Assistant.

Google Photos itself is the assistant. It backs up my camera roll, organizes it by people, places, and things. It is mostly helpful.

In contrast, Assistant is mostly unhelpful. Maybe Assistant was fired from its previous assistant gig for folding itineraries into origami. Now Assistant has a lot of time on its hands and sits around and smokes weed and does weird things like this to my photos:

Good job, I guess?

But Assistant is cool. Assistant explores. Sometimes Assistant fails:

And sometimes Assistant succeeds:

Assistant has a personality. Check out this photo it made of my parents’ little cottage in Connecticut:

It certainly doesn’t feel like my picture: I never would have applied the fake film effect, the saturation, the vignetting. I can’t even tell you if I like it. But it certainly expresses an opinion — it’s not a simple magic wand on the photo.

When Assistant produces something bad I swipe it to the right; when Assistant produces something good I share it. I have become Assistant’s curator; Assistant has actually added work to my plate.

But how can I be mad? Assistant’s source of inspiration is my own junkheap of discarded creative output. And that’s what keeps me coming back: whether Assistant’s creations are good or bad, they are always a form of flattery.