Why are we afraid to ask?
A great lesson in getting what you want
Today I watched an old Steve Jobs interview from 1995. One thing that he said, really made me think about my own life and success in general.
He said; “I’ve never found anybody that didn’t want to help me if I asked them for help.”
He proceeded to tell a short story about how when he was 12 years old he called Bill Hewlett from HP Computers to ask him for spare parts. Bill ended up giving him the parts — then later that summer offered him a job.
“Most people never pick up the phone and call. Most people never ask. And that is what sometimes separates the people that DO from the people that just DREAM about them.” — Steve Jobs
As I think about that statement, it’s so true. Thinking back, most of the things that I’ve accomplished in my life was when I had to seek other people’s help. Even though these were sometimes uncomfortable situations, it propelled me forward and led to other opportunities that I would have never had.
Why are we afraid to ask?
Little kids are great at it because they don’t care yet about what people think of them. They don’t reason, they don’t seek approval, they just know what they want and won’t stop until they get it.
As we get older we develop “social filters” and lose the ability to do this. We seek approval, we fear rejection, we avoid uncomfortable situations because we want to be liked. Our ego takes over and says; “you can do it, you don’t need help!”
Our culture almost rewards the Lone Wolf character. We give credit to the guy that builds the Billion dollar business, as if he did it alone. In reality the Lone Wolf doesn’t exist. Ever single successful person needed the help of other people, it’s impossible to do it alone.
The question is; “How do you eliminate the fear and begin to ask for what you need?
You start by saying fuck it. You don’t care what people think of you. If you’re an entrepreneur, ask for the investment. If they say no, then ask why. If you want to get press, then call a journalist at TechCrunch and ask them to write about you. If you think you deserve a promotion, then ask for a promotion. Whatever it is, be relentless!
Ask and receive, it’s a simple as that!
When the tables are turned and you’re the one in a successful situation, do the same for people who are seeking your help. That’s how the world really goes around.
