MEDIUM | SATIRE
Amid Mounting Chaos, Medium Unveils Notification Stimulus Plan
To quell growing frustrations across the platform, Medium comes up with plan to support its writers through difficult times
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For an entire work week, the world of Medium has been without their precious notifications. And like a cargo ship stuck smack dab in the center of the Suez canal, it’s left the online world of writers in limbo.
Realizing the gravitas of the platform’s growing logjam, the minds behind the scenes began to quickly formulate a battle plan. Sensing a tension in the room, a kindly Tony Stubblebine made hot chocolate and passed it around to his stressed out coworkers.
“The notifications keep piling in and I keep trying to sort them into folders… but there’s just too many!!!” expressed one exasperated employee at a computer screen being perpetually bombarded by a series of notification dings. “AUUGHH!” she exclaimed violently before putting her face to her palms in defeat. The dings continued to flurry around her with no cessation in sight.
The support team was even more flummoxed still. “I’ve — I’ve been responding to emails all day but — but — I just…
