How To Write Inauthentically

Let me give you the keys to success

Trust me, people will buy it! / Photo by Austin Distel on Unsplash

It’s a dirty little secret that Fortuna, the Goddess of Success, likes liars, con artists, and cheats. That is why it pays to write inauthentically.

How do I write inauthentically, Carlo?

I’m so glad you asked. First thing you need to do to write inauthentically is to pronounce yourself An Expert. People love to believe there are people far smarter than they are. Even when they’re not.

Call yourself an expert with a straight face. Readers will nod their heads up and down equally with a straight face. Maybe even a slightly crooked face drooling with gullibility and adulation.

Next write a listicle in your field of expertise. Here are a few examples —

1. Ten Ways To Bamboozle Your Audience By Writing Inauthentically.
2. Eight Ways To Bury Your Competition By Being A Better Human.
3. Five Ways To Destroy Your Enemy By Never Writing Satire.
4. Nine Ways To Pulverize Your Readers By Writing About Data Science.
5. Eighteen Ways To Become Successful By Selling Success.