How To Make Online Friends
My 3 Years Experience Making Internet Friends
Introduction — Making friends online:
These days in the 20s in the time of Technology and the internet, it comes hand by hand with crises such as Covid-19 and floods, and so on, The mental health became a very important priority for teens and millennials especially!
According to the World health organization, more than 264 million people are affected by depression in ages 15–29 old especially, and Close to 800,000 people die due to suicide every year.
and According to psychology today Loneliness “is as tied to the quality of one’s relationships as it is to the number of connections one has “, That means the internet can be a great place to make authentic and meaningful friendships with the same interests and concerns rather than the toxic offline one.
Relationships are one of the most important aspects of our lives, online and mobile technologies can provide a means of connecting and can increase our sense of belonging — therefore having a positive impact on our relationships.
Actually today I will cover the importance of online friendship and online platforms to make friends online, and my Experience over 3 years before!
and I want to make a correlation between overcoming depression and talking with online buddies and online group support.
I want to say :
“ We can overcome loneliness, mental problems and depression, and even boredom by making relationship online with people from different countries and cultures with Same interests “
Importance of online friendship and why it has appeared?
over 2 years before I came across different platforms to make online friends. in fact, I’m introverted and I want to know about cultures and religions from different people around the world and lifestyles and I want to discuss my interests with people sharing same interests with me and the last thing I’m a little bit shy and lonely and I have small numbers of closet offline friends from university and coworkers.
online friendship can be very useful, not for shies or introverts only but in essence, the online environment makes it easier to discuss yourself with others and discuss topics you can’t discuss in the real world and some people prefer talking with text over real talking.
Research shows that it’s “safer” to be open and honest about our struggles, deficits, and anxieties with “online buddies” that we are unlikely to ever meet than people we will interact with the face-to-face world. We tend to feel less exposed when we hide behind the keyboard.
You can take your own time to reply and you can easily stop the conversation if you are not comfortable with the person they are talking to, also you can learn a lot from user’s profiles ( if the online friendship made on the platform is non-anonymous ) and you can select a person fits with your interests.
Second, I talked in the introduction about depression and loneliness, there are a lot of anonymous platforms made for depression and mental health like 7cups.com, which provides online therapy and free support to people experiencing emotional distress by connecting them with trained listeners without showing names or photos.
but there are people who need real communication online, like meaningful friendship based on trustworthiness and sharing, if you found this one it doesn’t matter if you will meet them in the real world in the future or not, if you find this chance it will be very very amazing and beautiful (not always haha :) ) .
Actually, connectivity around the world these days makes our lives better and there is cons I know, but today you can connect with and learn from different people in a moment , for me, I have a friend from Central America — Guatemala, and other from Madagascar and a lot of friends from India and one from US , Egypt, Palestine, Tunisia and so on, these intranational friends gave me a big chance to discuss topics like religions and culture and even my interests, I’m Muslim and now I have Christians and Hindus even atheists friends, I think this is so nice.
Also, even my real friends such as from university I met them on the online platforms first like mutual friends in Facebook or university WhatsApp groups, and then I met them because it will be difficult for an introverted person to reach out people and talk to them face to face for the first time.
“The only thing we miss is the contact, the intimacy of touch and cuddles, but we can make up for that by sending love heart emojis!”
source:https://www.abc.net.au/life/how-online-friendships-compare-to-real-friends/11456856
Psychologist Leanne Hall says:
“You are connecting to people you would perhaps not usually meet in real life … and that can be quite life-changing.”
“If you want a deeper connection online, it has to be a vulnerable connection, you need to be honest and embrace the fact that life is not perfect, and encourage the other person to do the same thing,”
The Problem with online friendship platforms :
As I said before there are a lot of problems making these platforms for making online friends or dating are not reliable and trustworthy.
According to my experience, the platform or website itself played a pivotal role in making the relationship go, there are a lot of factors that make trustworthiness between two virtual partners like photos, posts, interests, mutual friends, stories, and the intent of joining a platform. I mean here for example if you try to reach random Facebook users for being their friend the response rate will be pathetic because this is a weird thing, any person will ask himself why I received a friend request or messages from a stranger on this platform, where he found me? Or is it a type of scams? or catfish like Lydia abedlamllik case?
But if anyone reaches you in a platform or community made especially for making friends this will be very very normal but there is a problem!
The problem is or “problems”, these online platforms used by a lot of scammers or catfishes trying to steal money and credit card information or just try to lie about themself or gender and make up a fantasy story about themself. For this reason, online friendship can be dangerous.
or they can be males or even females asks you for nudes or -sorry- doing online sex, but it is actually a scam too, because they will steal your photos and post it publicly in Facebook for your friends or in youtube and ask you for money to delete it.
the last problem occurs in matching platforms like tender / skout / meet me / say Hi / love Habibi and so on, you can’t talk to anyone if the other person isn’t like you and is known as a “match” , or you can’t talk to a lot of persons if you aren’t paying money and this can make your time disappear or make you pessimist about making friends .
“According to my 2 years experience, I tried a lot of these platforms and now I have 5 friends or more only “
and I will talk in the rest of this article about the pros and cons of different platforms and which can be better than others.
but there is another important thing too, despite platforms, the intent of friendship is essential!
ask yourself these questions first:
Why do you need friends? and for how long? friends like what? in the same interests? international friends?
and it is a normal friendship? or you have depression and need therapy?
or you want to flirt and make dirty talk?
For any question, there is a platform suitable for the intent.
try to remember your choice!
“It can be an awesome idea to take online friendship into offline, and there are a lot of success stories about this but Be aware and avoid catfishing and scammers ask you for money or sex, actually they are males in females account or can be just a chatbot“
Types of online platforms to make friends online :
1- Matching ( Swipe left /right )
2- Direct ( you can send messages to anyone directly)
3- anonymous chat and random chat.
4-online forums and communities around specific interests.
5-General social media sites.
6- Paid market place ( virtual friends services and gigs)
I will come one by one in detail.
My Experience in matching/swiping platforms :
The phenomena of swiping appeared in 2012 when “Tinder” App was created with more than billions a swipe a day, tinder became the most famous dating app in the world.
I’m not talking about dating here, but the key is all companies after the success of the “swiping” method decide to make a lot of platforms such as a platform for friendship not dating by the same mechanism as matching and swiping.
To be honest I never made any friendship from platforms for these problems:
- scammers focusing a lot on this type of platform as well as sexual people.
- The success or number of matching can be according to your profile picture not for your personality and interests, and do you think a friendship based on pictures only can be healthy? it is about sex and flirts rather than trustworthy and sharing.
- for point two, I spent a lot of time a month or 2 months for any platform of this type, and the result: I never get a real match with a real person.
- this platform can overcome your boredom just for seeing people’s pictures even if you did not talk with anyone and most of the friendship can be short term.
Examples of these apps: Skout / meet me / Say Hi / and so on .
If you want meaningful long term relationships I think you should find a platform that makes the whole thing about topics and interests not only profile pictures.
My Experience in Speaky App ( Direct ) :
Speaky is just one of the apps that allow you to send messages to anyone without restrictions , in essence, speaky is a free language exchange app that helps you find language partners worldwide!
I reach out to 100 people in one month and the response rate is about 2% only , I don’t know what the problem is , but I think people can be distracted with a huge number of online people and sexy photos and then can prefer exploring pictures over talking and this can be similar to swiping apps .
Here some of reviews from google play with same problem :
your chances to have a talk depend on your gender and profile photo Unfortunately, it is not healthy relationships.
The 2% message I received is all about sexuality or advertisement, and some of these messages are managed by chatbots.
A lot of these apps you can find in google play or apple store, but I do not recommend it if you want long term friendship because it can be volatile and short term friendship!
but it is not bad if you’re just bored and love to explore photos and send messages despite whether you receive a response or not.
3. Anonymous and random chat :
Anonymous left the chat — https://chat42.online/
for real , if you are male your chances to get a response in 3 first tries is -3.33% :)
Sorry , and if you’re female too a lot of people here want to have online sex or just flirting because when lonely or depressed people have s chance to talk without true identity they can say anything or make anything.
Omegle.com :
Omegle is a free online chat website that allows users to socialize with others without the need to register. The service randomly pairs users in one-on-one chat sessions, was launched on 25 March 2009.
Omegle can be useful to overcome boredom only, and short term discussions.
Dark web:
Sounds interesting isn’t it ? There are a lot of websites that can’t be accessed by normal google search and that is known as Dark web .
Dark web can be another option to find chat rooms , it is similar to omegle but no problem in exploring :)
Talk to John Doe is a website to talk to strangers , can’t be accessed with normal browsers , you can install Tor browser to access it .
4. Online forums and communities :
There are a lot of forums and communities on the internet designed around specific interests , you can do your own research about these communities according to your interests .
But for me, I signed in Coursera Community which is helped me a lot to find a lot of friends from all around the world and aligned with my interests .
If you’re a fan of coursera and courses and passionate about learning , coursera should be your first path to success .
For top demand skills like Machine learning and digital marketing you can find friends and discussion groups to learn and discuss the learning material , this is a huge opportunity especially in times of crises like covid-19 when All universities and schools shutdowned .
In the coursera community , you start by introducing yourself , and then if anyone loves your interests and your personality can reach you in private messages or in the comments section , I make 2 friends from there and we compete 3 months now , and still talking and laughing with each other.
Reddit — the front page of the internet :
Reddit — is another example of online communities , Reddit is a big communities divided into different small communities called subreddit , you can search and find subreddit fits with your interest , but people in reddit love to be anonymous and this is my problem with reddit , i can use it as community like twitter sometimes and for exploring news too , but i’m not prefer to make friends because i can’t see anything from the person like interests / profile photos and so on .. That makes it similar to anonymous chat rooms , you can make meaningful relationships on it but it is a little bit very hard , even response rate can be pathetic .
There is a lot of subreddits for making friends like :
r/FRIEND
r/onlinefriends
r/NEEDafriend
keep reading, don’t leave behind :)
5/ General social media sites :
It is a traditional way to make friends , is it still working in 2020 ? The short answer is : it depends.
I will divide it to :
- facebook .
- twitter — instagram — snapchat .
- linkedin (professional network) .
Guys you know about facebook well , facebook actually made for family and real friends , people become so uncomfortable sometimes to talk with strangers on this platform , but if there is already trustworthy between partners such as from another platform this will be normal .
I tried to reach out to 20 random people from different countries on facebook and what about response rate ? guess what ?
10% ?
20%? 5%?
not at all it’s ZERO , no one responded to me , but there is 30% accepting the friend request just to increase their facebook friend list (pathetic) .
On facebook you can use groups or you can reach out to your mutual friends normally , but the chances to reach out to a person from another country for your first try is 0.0001% .
let’s turn into twitter — twitter and snapchat and instagram fits into same category , it is like open community much more than facebook , you can follow everyone and every one can follow you , and then you can reach out some new people , your chances to make new friends depends on a lot of factors , in essence every one seeks attention , and all of them received a lot of messages everyday and sometimes they ignore , this is your opportunity to make this one respond for you between alternative messages from others .
I make a lot of friends on twitter (local friends) only. In the last 2 years I’ve been very active on twitter , but this year when I quit twitter to overcome addiction and because sometimes I make unhealthy relationships “toxic friendships” .
Linkedin :it is mainly used for professional networking, including employers posting jobs and job seekers posting their CVs.
despite the term “professional network” I found true friend on linkedin and “professional relationships too”
The people on linkedin are divided into people who open for new connections from all around the world and love to make new friends and discussions .
and another group doesn’t make any new connections and just they connect with their co-workers and friends .
and that is why when you reach a lot of people in linkedin with the same profession and experience with you some time they ignore , because they don’t love to make new people and relationships .
For my experience on linkedin , i’m just searching for people who share same interests with me , for Example when I search for term :
SEO — Search Engine Optimization
3.453.988 results from all around the world :)
Search tool on linkedin is very efficient and sufficient to find anyone you need in terms of “professional relationships”
For 3 last month when I signed into linkedin I made a lot of connections and friends from India , the United states , mexico , tunisia and so on ….
I reach people to make strong connections and learn a lot from them despite their age or experience .
And that is known as “LION” — Linkedin open networker .
“Open networking means that you’re open to receiving connection requests from people you don’t know.”
read more at : https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/20140608232653-87028-what-is-linkedin-open-networking-should-you-be-a-lion-open-networker/
6/ Paid friendship services & gigs ( Friendship marketplaces) :
First you will find this sound cringy, right?
but let me explain why paid friendship services are important and legitimate.
Normally these services can be found on legitimate platforms like fiverr , friendpc , Egirl.gg and so on..
these platforms work as brokers between buyer and seller , and then it respects buyers and sellers as well , and your chances to get scammed is very low !
This is a good option to consider sometimes , if you need someone to play video games with , or you need someone to listen to you and give you empathy and emotions or just you can overcome your boredom by this trustworthy chat .
I want to make a thesis: money makes things go well , trust me . There is a lot of difference between someone who volunteers and someone paid !
If this paid person has good morals and traits he will give you a lot and make efforts in the conversation to make you happy or to solve your problems !
If you’re wondering how you will know if the seller is legitimate or not , in all these platforms there are reviews sections and every buyer can make a rating and review seller’s services and then you can know any one it’s legitimate or not.
Second thing, make sure to not get scammed , as a freelancer I know about pricing well , if you find service like 30–20$/hours to chat avoid it , services start from 5$ and you have to search for services in this range 5–10$ for chat continuing for days or week , or 15–30$ for months .
Platforms to find friendship/dating services :
1/ for gamers : Egirl.gg
Egirl is a platform that connects girls with gamers , every one (seller) can make a service or “gig” and publish it on the platform and buyers can buy these services .
In the beginning this sounded creepy and weird , but now it has become a popular platform and a lot of people and gamers benefit from it .
it is no problem in exchange benefits ( play a game for 5$ only ) .
2/ Friends Pc :
“ Virtual Friends, someone who you share interests, loves, hopes, or troubles with“
FriendPC aims to help people make friends, find someone to accompany you somewhere, or help you reach a goal.
Book out your talents for people and travelers searching for a unique experience. Make new Friends from around the world. Make extra cash sharing your talents for people and travelers who share the same interest.
Whether you want to book a Virtual Friend or become a Virtual Friend, FriendPC offers it all. Find someone to build a companionship with, Life Coach services, or give you a tour around a city you’re visiting.
friend pc is just a brand new platform , but I encourage you to consider it in the future !
I want to share with you my services there , as I mentioned before the fees of these services should be low right? because helping people with a chat is not something that hard !
That is why I offered my service in 5$ only : here
3/Fiverr — most famous freelance marketplace :
Last but not least , fiverr . fiverr is the most famous market to buy and sell gigs or services , these services can be anything and are known as “micro services” and it starts from 5$ .
Why should you trust sellers on fiverr?
First you can visit this forum. A lot of people talked about their experience here .
but for me I determined any thing as trustworthy based on broker or the company not sellers themselfs
I mean if the seller takes your money and doesn’t respond they will not receive his money , it is located on the platform until the service is provided successfully, and if you have any doubts you can talk to customer service to solve any problems with you and the seller .
if you make search for the term “online friend”
There are a lot of gigs out there , and you can find the person who is suitable for you and also cheaper !
For pricing I found a lot of sellers based the gigs around one hour or 30 min only , for 5$ or 15$.
That is why I’m offering the cheapest alternative gig ever, 5 days for 5$ and 20 days for 10$ , you can visit me here and get your offer !
Conclusion:
To building meaningful friendship you have to search out for online communities or forums designed around your interests , swiping apps or random chat it is time consuming , linkedin is very useful in your professional life , Consider to purchase service from marketplaces like fiverr and friends pc and egirl it is can be a solution for your depression and loneliness .
