There is nothing more shameful than shame
ADB-160229#137
There is nothing more shameful than a man who cannot admit he has failed.
There is nothing more shameful than a man who has failed his family.
And there is nothing more shameful than a man who has failed himself.
There is nothing more shameful than a man who admits to feeling shame.
There is nothing more shameful than a man who is a man.
There is nothing more shameful than
shame.
None of that shit above is true. It feels true at the time. I wrote that while feeling upset and sorry for myself this weekend. I warned you early on that not all of these ADBs would be puppies and rainbows (but at least there’s a puppy in this one).
I fight with shame all of the time. Remember in ADB-151117#33 when I said envy was my kryptonite? I was lying. Shamefully lying.
Shame has been the single biggest life-sucking emotion I have ever felt. It has kept me back, held me down, and crushed many of my endeavors.
The difference with All-Day Breakfast are the rules: I am allowed to publish whatever I want. That sounds like an easy rule, but think about it for a second. Whatever I want? Yup, whatever I want. But couldn’t that be embarrassing? What if I write something stupid? Then it’s stupid. And readers get to see it? Yes. What’s interesting about All-Day Breakfast is that it is not predictable. Kinda like a real human being. It has a range of emotions. One of them is shame. Are you sure you want to do that? Expose yourself like that? No, I’m not sure. My very first issue was called Uncertain. But that’s not going to stop me.
Luckily, not every issue is painful, inward agonizing. Feeling sorry for yourself gets boring very fast. I’m grateful for the work of Brené Brown, the world’s leading shame researcher (who knew there was such a thing?). Some people don’t need this book, and that’s a good thing. But others, like myself, had a life-changing epiphany.
Her first TED talk about vulnerability changed my life. I could physically feel myself changing as I watched it. It gave me permission to express myself. It let me know that armour wasn’t going to protect me, but being vulnerable would. This counter-intuitive practice has led me to this day—sharing a journal on the internet to strangers (not to mention friends, family, and co-workers!) and not worrying about it.
This is me, folks.
Want ADB delivered? Sign-up for All-Day Breakfast Weekly and get a seven-day collection of ADB in your mailbox (plus a free ebook of the first 100 issues).
⇣ Try clicking that little green heart below if you liked this issue. ❤=😀
