Think Local (To Minimize Global Anxiety)
ADB-211014#366
Today I woke up at 5am and couldn’t get back to sleep because—1) The world is ending, 2) I’m probably dying but just don’t know it yet, and 3) I’m a horrible person that has done everything wrong with his life and isn’t worthy of love.
Yikes. I think that’s called anxiety.
A little bit of the Cognitive Behavioural Therapy I’ve learned exposes #3 as a fallacy. I just have to choose to believe a better internal monologue. I’m getting there.
I can get a check-up next week, start eating more pro-biotics, and get back into my running schedule anytime I want. A certified doctor can debunk (or confirm) #2. I think I’m just putting off that first colonoscopy…
But #1. That’s a kicker. I am a person who likes to set up systems, to solve problems. And I can’t even begin to unravel the interconnectedness of politics, big business, energy, culture, belief systems… etc etc. It’s too much, and I’m sure as fuck not going to solve it at 5am lying in my bed.
I think the pandemic is finally pushing me into a corner.
So the solution (for me to sleep, not for the global compounding crisises) is to stop thinking about the big big picture and to instead think of the small local picture.
