The Journals
These are a collection of a few of my journals from this year. I felt as though the one’s that I have included are beneficial at expressing what this project meant to me. They express my search and my findings. They express the ups and the downs. They express the entire process to discovering my ancestry and my family today.
Journal 1: “Choosing our Bearer of Tradition”
If I were to chose one family member to write about for this project it would be very difficult. I can narrow it down to my grandfather, who fought in two wars during his life, my grandmother Barbara, who has an endless amount of stories, or my grandmother Eva, who started her own company in which all of her children worked. While I believe my grandmother Eva would have the most significant story and the one which affects my family the most, I have also heard this story my whole life. It isn’t new. My mom’s side of the family has also already researched their lineage before, so because of this I feel I would learn more new information about my family through my dad’s side. My grandmother Barbara, on my father’s side, has always been an inspiration to all of her grandchildren. She has a resilient spirit and believes that anyone can be family. It is not defined by blood. Some of my earliest memories are going to Florida over summer with my dad’s family and sleeping in closets and a bathroom tub so that 60 people could fit in 2 houses. My grandma would not have had it any other way. She raised five children from her two marriages and now has 9 grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren. My grandma also has an incredible memory. She knows the birthdays of everyone in my family memorized and calls the rest of us to remind us to wish the others happy birthday. I always thought it was funny because we all act as though we actually remembered and no one ever calls one another out for having my grandma remind them. I would love to explore her memory on a deeper level and learn about her life.
Journal 2: “The Reason for Food in Fairy Tales”
I went in search of all of the wondrous foods i remembered in fairy tales when i was little. I was searching for the reasoning for the wild strawberries growing in the snow in The Three Little Men in the Woods, the delicious candy house in Hansel and Gretel, the food supply that never runs out in The Raven, and much more. By looking at fairy tales from this perspective I realized that in a fairy tale, food is often the highest prize or reward. Hunger is the reason Hansel and Gretel are drawn to the witches house and the reason Repunzel’s mother loves her green salad so much.
These tales were written during a time when hunger surrounded the entire nation. Famine made many peoples lives brutish and short. The food in fairy tales reflects what the common-folk were going through during this time period in German history and what their greatest fear was: hunger. The Grimm’s brothers used cannibalism to exemplify how extreme the hunger had become and to show the desperation in the people.
Journal 3: “A look it Holocaust Artwork”
I believe that I can add more variation and flavor to my annotated bibliography by adding a visual, artistic aspect to it. I want to add a sculpture or painting or engraving that relates to my topic. I believe that there is some artwork that was made in Germany during the Holocaust, which could demonstrate the struggles that they faced and needed to have expressed.
I think that a painting would be the easiest to find and would also be a colorful addition to my project. I want to find one that expresses the angst, the fear, and the desperation of the Jewish people during this time.
Die Ordnung der Engel (The Hierarchy of Angels) by Anselm Kiefer (2000)
This work was done by Anselm Kiefer who used materials such as straw, ash, and clay in his work. Because of this he is not a conventional artist but he is documenting an important part of German history in his works of the 19th century. His paintings relate to the Holocaust and the history of Germany.
In many of his works he includes names or words of legendary figures or historical places. He highlights the horrors of Germany’s past.
Mutter mit totem Sohn (Mother with Dead Son) by Käthe Kollwitz (1903)
This work is interesting because it was done by a female artist, which was very uncommon in 1903. She lived in a poverty stricken area of Berlin and this inspired her to depict the awful conditions of the poor in her artwork.
She can apply to my project as she was widely affected by the wars in Germany: she lost her son in the first World War, her grandson in the second World War, and she died in 1945 before the war ended.
This drawing is of a mother holding her dead son and it depicts the pain of losing a child and the affects of wartime struggles. She is a victim of war and she expresses the struggles of living in a country surrounded by warfare.
Zwei Reiter am Strand (Two Riders on the Beach) by Max Liebermann (1901)
This work was done by a famous German Impressionist painter; However, I find this painting’s history to be more interesting than that of his technique and depictions. It was originally owned by a Jewish factory owner but was seized by Nazi authorities.
The painter of this work was Jewish so the Nazi’s considered it to be degenerate art. It was seized back by the Allies after the war.
Journal 4: “Rethinking the Purpose”
The purpose of my project is to capture my grandma’s spirit and her life; However, I now think that the project has a specific focus on religion. I would like to discover what it was like to marry a man of a different faith because this has impacted our entire family dynamic. Without this decision, I would’ve been raised much differently. My family truly demonstrates the label of an “interfaith family” through our family get together, traditions, and cuisine. This aspect of my family has made me very educated on varying religious beliefs and has made me respect all people’s beliefs, even those different than mine.
I chose to observe this aspect of my family by starting with looking at my grandparent’s marriage because many people were against their marriage. From here, I began to research religious struggles and conflicts during my grandparent’s childhood. Following this I looked at present day facts about interfaith marriage and how people feel about it. This research was enlightening and empowering. I feel closer to my family and I recognize that this part of my family is very unique. Religion in my family has shaped my ancestors lives, who I am today, and who I will be.
Journal 5: “Who are you now?”
Today is the 6 of April, semester began January 5. We met three months and one day ago in this class. After 3 months and 1 day, who are you now?
I have one word to describe me at the beginning of the semester. Clueless. I voted to have our course focus on family history, which was a really hard choice for me due to my love of Hamilton. Today, I am so very glad that I made this decision. Going into this project, I felt like I had a pretty good idea of my past and who I was then; However, I never realized how much more I was missing by not researching my family history. This project allowed me to uncover stories and people that I had never heard of. It allowed me to open a door to the past and recognize that I am not the only person who has made the person I am today. I was made by my family history. I am defined by it. Everything that happened in the past has shaped who I became today. Without this project, I never would’ve gotten to know myself and my family as well as I do now. I feel closer to my family, my grandmother, and, most importantly, to myself. I also was able to realize my impact on society and community due to this project. I have become a person that realizes how important my actions are and how my voice can be heard. Before I definitely thought that my actions did not affect anyone else but me. If I choose to be a marketing major rather than a vet, why would that affect anyone but me? I can now see that this can affect everyone that is in my family presently and in the future. My choices and my interests shape those in my life and those who know of my life. Continuing on with the example of profession, I know my parent’s jobs impacted who I am and my history. My parents both worked for my grandmother’s haircare business. From a young age, I would play in their offices, take in the sights of the factory, and observe business meetings from a child’s eye. I was able to see the importance of making a business work. I was able to see every cog that made the clock function. The business ended up being a huge success and with the money we started a foundation to help others. I now run the head of the children’s board of this foundation. We meet in an office building and discuss beneficial areas to donate our money. Often times, we find more unique places than the adults do. I couldn’t have this position or make this impact had I not observed my grandma and my parents working for their haircare company. I believe my skills in a business setting come from a long line of business men and women. My point is, we are all impacted by those that came before us. We are who we are because of our family history. I make an impact.
Journal 6: “Hellmann 2.0”
How are you a remix?
I am a remix because I piece together parts of who I am from those that came before me or my childhood. The specific parts that define me are not unique to me. They have developed from a direct source and I am simply repeating that thing in a new way or in a new form. I associate my love of art with my own creative nature and eye; however, this fascination in art is something that can be found in many people before me and more specifically in two of my aunts. Both of my aunts majored in art and taught me a great deal about art, which influenced the person I have become. My love of this is simply a remix of their love, but how I choose to express it is different. They expressed it by their line of work, while I express it in my hobbies. To continue, I am a remix because of the clothes I wear, the movies I watch, and the music I listen to. I will explain this in looking at clothing. While clothes and styles seem like they are new and unique, they are often simply an adaptation of something that came before. For example, high wasted jeans with a boot leg cut were popular when my mom was in college and again now high wasted clothing is popular but it is more commonly seen as shorts today. Our style of clothing has originated from the beginning and has simply had basic changes. The fundamentals of the clothing are the same as wearing skins when clothes began. Due to this, I am a remix. The same goes for music and literature.
Journal 7: “The Big Questions”
Who are you now?
I am a person who better understands her family history and has a more sincere interest into her past. I have realized the effect that I have on the world and that those have had before me. I also realize that history is something that is defined by the people of that time but that people are simply “remixes” of those that came before them. This project has made me have a better idea as to who I am and what made me this way.
Where are you now?
To answer this question I could go about it many ways. For one, I am in my first year of college, 3 weeks away from summer, sitting in a classroom by a large window. For another, I could look at this in a deeper way. After doing this project, I would say I am now at a point where I am ready to explore who I am and what I will do in my life. I am ready to make an impact which will impact the generations after mine. Where am I? I am on the brink of change, chance, and adventure. For my last answer to where am I now, I would like to state that I am at the beginning of my life perspectively or hopefully. I am ready to take on life.
How are you now?
I would say that this project and this class has given me more perspective on life. I am someone who is more open to new ideas and who is curious about the people around me. I not only feel more connected to myself and my family, but also to my community. Each person I see or meet has a unique story, but whether I allow this story to affect me or not is up to me. I feel overall I am more openminded and curious about the world.
Why are you now?
I am now because I was born in 1997. I am now because yesterday was before and tomorrow is then or after. I believe I am now for a purpose. We all begin our lives at a certain time and have a certain purpose. I can effect the now that I was born into. I can effect the now of my life. If I hadn’t been born now, then I would have a very different impact or effect on the world. I am now because everyday I make an impact on my now, my present. Every decision that I make impacts the now. I am now because this is the only time that I have the choice to effect. I can’t effect what was then. I am now.
