Tell Me More About This Stuffed Horse in the Basement of Your School’s Chapel
And how is your profession in nursing?
A little over a year ago I took Natasha home with me to Virginia for a whole new adventure. She met my people, experienced my alma mater and the surrounding area and got a firsthand look at the man with whom she was falling in love in all his pre-Seattle glory. At least the glory I had concocted in my own head.
My family is the most “normal” family in America. To this day I still recall that teenage car conversation I jokingly had with my mom on Tidewater Drive. I am not so sure who was trying to convince whom. We laughed and now a short twenty eight years later I’d have the honor of introducing the woman I will happily spend the rest of my life with to my parents.
The flight from SeaTac on 31 July 2017 included us not even sitting together. What the heck? Natasha sat in the row directly behind me and passed me little notes. I kept them. They read as follows: “Dear Row 30, Seat C you are super hot & sexy… do you have a girlfriend? Married?” She continued writing all the way to our hop in Chicago. “Baby — I’m so sad sitting here without you- I’d cut off my arm to be sitting next to you. I can’t wait to land in Chi to at least get to hold you and kiss you a little- it’s been too long. You are my heart- I love you so much and can’t wait to unabashedly show your family how much I love you and adore you. xxooxxooxxoo, me PS- I bless the rains down in Africa.” Our Lyft to the airport included Toto’s 1982 hit song/ music video playing on the back of the head rests. I can’t believe I almost broke Natasha’s legs getting out of the car service. I was so excited I didn’t even realize she was following me out passenger side. What kind of boyfriend am I not to realize such crucial car service etiquette? When being dropped at the airport you probably don’t want to exit driver’s side because of all the hustle on the left.
Albeit brief the layover in Chicago saw us at an Irish bar drinking a pint or two. Funny we were basically in her backyard yet we were traveling to mine. I was still all the excitement while I can only imagine how much she must have been all the nerves. Natasha would very soon find out how normal my family really was.
My dad was practically giddy to point out this new brewery in Virginia Beach and how much he wanted to take us straight there from the airport. Wasserhund Brewing Company (beer and pizza) was Natasha’s introduction to my family. Not ten minutes into us being there than my brother pulls politics saying “You probably voted for Obama.” Way to go Jamie with the first impressions. She already knew we were a military family with conservative leanings. To be perfectly honest I don’t remember all that was said because I was too busy rubbing my hand in reassurance all up and down her back. The jury was out and it was decided the beer was good and the pizza was well, pizza. The coolest thing about the brewery was their creative t-shirts. I’m wearing one right now. The back is an image of a German shepherd dog whose entire body is constellations and other celestial sights.
We got to the house and Natasha immediately approved of my mom’s decor. It’s the last day of July and the first thing she notices is how my mom has this miniature Christmas tree up year round. The decorations vary season to season.
Matt was a big hit. My one and only nephew scored major points with Natasha. She kept commenting on what a good boy he was and how well mannered and behaved too. This would bode well for young Matthew in that he’d be joining us for a week the following summer in Seattle to meet Madeline and have a little vacation of his own.
Dad made sure we had keys to the Chevy Tahoe. Another thing about Natasha and I is how well we travel together. Even in Norfolk, Virginia with my family we’d be taking a vacation within a vacation. Road trips down to the Outer Banks (OBX) of North Carolina and up to Lexington, Virginia to my alma mater were in our immediate future. We’d visit my brother in the far reaches of Virginia Beach and spend an entire afternoon on a beach in Sandbridge talking about birds and loving every minute of our time together. By that point in our relationship I hadn’t even seen The Notebook, yet somehow I just knew and had already felt so connected to Natasha I felt comfortable talking to her about anything and everything. We changed into our bathing suits in the back of the Tahoe in the hot hot heat and took our dessert, Key Lime Pie, with us right to the oceanfront. Never allowing ourselves to bicker or get bogged down in the madness that is travel, we thrive. As long as Natasha is by my side, I am confident I could and would drive to any destination on the map.
Outer Banks, North Carolina:
Dad had given us an on time suggestion. Unfolding his daily newspaper he mentioned “You guys ought to try and get a soft shelled crab sandwich while you’re down there.” We took him up on that quest and stopped at the very eatery he recommended. What was so entirely crucial was how the chalk board had just been erased upon entry yet Natasha’s eagle eye spotted this all too coveted menu item before it disappeared off the face of the earth forever. Our waiter approached our booth and without a second’s hesitation Natasha came right out with it: “Can we have two of your soft shelled crab sandwiches?” to which the waiter responded in the affirmative. Two beers and those heavenly bites was all it took to be more than satiated. Natasha loves herself some good crab.
Before her own departure back to Seattle, dad drove over to Hampton to ensure she had her crab fix. He produced two quart size containers of what we call lolly pops. They are crab claws only with all the sweet meats. Natasha about lost her mind. If I recall correctly she made some sort of mention about it being one of the best things she had ever eaten, ever! I fell in love even more with Natasha if that even sounds remotely possible merely through her joyful interactions with my dad. I finally got it right dad. It took me forty years, but I did real good.
The Outer Banks are exactly what you need if you are just looking to get away from all it all and have a truly relaxing experience in a pretty sweet laid back beach environment. We paid a visit to Jockey’s Ridge State Park for a great and taxing walk. The sand dunes there are otherworldly in that it feels as if you are walking round Tatooine. Traversing that hilly terrain at any moment one might half expect to see a jawa or some sand people traipsing on by over the next ridge. Okay so Natasha has been telling me I am a total “nerd bomber” from the jump and I am guessing I just validated every single one of her beliefs. Maybe at least one of many.
Our hotel accommodations had oceanfront access. We walked down to the beach bringing a couple towels and a football. I already knew Natasha was an athlete. I just wasn’t prepared for how much of an athlete she actually was. I was throwing her laser beam spirals, lob shots and one Hail Mary where I swear on that particular catch she straight would have made Odell Beckham Junior reevaluate his entire life. She caught everything I was sending. Even still, Natasha would pour all the heat into her spirals to boot. Damn near pulled acrobatic feats of heroics myself simply not to drop one of her spot on passes. I pictured her and Jim McMahon just whooping it up in their heyday in Chicago throwing ball after ball through a tire swing in the backyard. Hot Damn I was falling more and more exponentially in love with Natasha with every single breath. To cap it all off the sunset that particular evening over the Atlantic Ocean was in a word sublime. In a few words the skies various shades of pink and orange made the evening’s end picture perfect.
In search of Natasha’s perfect sweet treat, we first stopped off at this novelty store directly across from the hotel. Who in their right mind wants three plus items for ten dollars at one of these shop? Usually you frequent one of these establishments for that one key item, not three. Not following up on that offer haunts us till this day. We had found the perfect gift for Madeline in the form of an authentic shell ring. We purchased her exactly one shell ring, no more. Not one day ownership of said shell ring than did Madeline lose it. She was crushed. It would be another year before she could build up enough nerve to try her next ring on for size.
We did indeed find Natasha’s ideal dessert in the form of soft serve. This joint was celebrating forty years in business having opened their doors in 1977 and I was all too pleased because I had just acquired a t-shirt from the Bru-Thru earlier that day which was also celebrating forty years in business. I saw it as a sign in that my birth year was a very good year for the Outer Banks of North Carolina. It was the absolute best soft serve and we were on our way.
Road Trip to Virginia Military Institute:
Back in the Commonwealth, we loaded up the Tahoe with provisions and bounded down Interstate 64 westbound en route to pay homage to my alma mater. “You are going to love it Natasha. It’s like a castle on the outside and a prison on the inside.” Well, my Rat Year and virtually all of my third class year it was more of the latter.
We stopped in Charlottesville at South Street Brewery for a couple of pints and some much needed pub grub. A crucial pit stop on another adventure within our adventure.
VMI Limit Gates is the point which you officially leave the campus of Washington and Lee University and enter the Institute. I possess mixed emotions of unabashed pride followed by a little terror when physically present. Eighteen plus years after graduating all the raw visceral qualities I feel vividly remain. The saying goes “VMI is a good place to be from, not a good place to be at,” or something to that effect. Early August before the cadets arrive back on post VMI is a rather quiet, serene and beautiful place. I gave Natasha the walking tour of my school. The only cadets there were players on our football team. Now my colleague Mike, a Washington State University graduate, is only all too happy to remind me how my team hasn’t had a winning season since 1981. I know Mike and thank you for the gentle reminder.
Upon regaling her with all my stories I noticed a look of sheer horror on Natasha’s face. “It’s all right Baby Bird,” I reassured her. “I chose this school because I knew I needed structure and discipline.” Another saying is how VMI is the road less traveled and after giving her the tour of barracks she instantly understood. The surrounding countryside is of course beautiful and that is where we spent a majority of our time.
The Caverns at Natural Bridge and newly christened Natural Bridge State Park proved two of the more crucial stops along our adventure. Aside from sprinting up House Mountain, several twenty-mile forced marches in the dead of night under heavy load and some outstanding field training exercises (FTXs) during my time at VMI, I never really appreciated Rockbridge County, Virginia for all its natural beauty until now. Now I could breathe easy and carefree because I was a visiting tourist. It actually occurred to me while descending into the earth with Natasha some insane amount of distance how I could have never truly enjoyed this experience as a cadet because the anxiety, fear and dread of having to inevitably return to VMI would have precluded me from doing so.
All the goings on directly underneath our feet is fascinating. And now we were getting a little taste. The mirror pool was one feature I recalled as particularly interesting. Whether it was deeper than it appeared or more shallow I can’t recall I just knew “science” had everything to do with it. And that is cool. Other highlights of that underworld realm were mic drop status (I already told you Natasha thinks I am one big giant nerd). Us standing inside the earth and simply looking up at all these innumerable fissures overhead with wonder was spellbinding. Then, all of a sudden our tour guide killed the power and it instantly became darker than I had ever experienced. With one flick of the light switch I just held Natasha tight and remained utterly silent to soak it all in. Wow! In that singular moment I found peace with the one I love.
Later calling it one of the coolest things she had ever seen in her life, let alone among natural wonders, Natasha was held in awe as we crossed underneath this massive arch/ limestone gorge that is known as Natural Bridge. The waters of time long ago carved out this visual splendor. I pointed out off to the left about twenty-three feet up where George Washington himself somehow heroically scaled this vertical rock face to carve his initials. I got a little nostalgic too in thinking back to when at the Institute my first official job one summer was that of land surveyor, or at least land surveyor’s trusty assistant. The walk around Natural Bridge State Park was one for the ages. As I held Natasha’s hand I spoke to her in such a way as to evoke every tender feeling I had for her in my heart. If the trees could talk.
Back in the quaint historic town of Lexington I would be remiss if I didn’t discuss the incident at Stonewall Jackson Memorial Cemetery. We had just finished dinner and drinks off South Main Street at the recommendation of my friend Patrick and were en route back to the hotel. “Hold on, my love I’ve got to show you something!” Grabbing her hand, I whisked her up South Main at approximately 10:30 pm. Our destination was the General’s grave site. What could possibly go wrong? Problem was we never quite made it all the way. Natasha, wanting to brave the whole ordeal out strongly, lost all faith and shrieked or yelped the word “NOPE!” and quickly turned round on the outskirts the moment I suggested we’d be sauntering well into the cemetery at that ungodly hour to pay our respects. One of Natasha’s three truths is ghosts, the other two being the existence of aliens and Jurassic Park could actually happen. Sorry sir, we’ll hit you back during daylight hours, maybe?
Just prior to returning home to Norfolk we made one final VMI run of the bookstore; the mission to purchase all the apparel to rep my school back in the Pacific Northwest. Sweatshirts for Home Team, check! Decal for the Jeep, check! As we were pulling out of the parking lot to leave for good I got this longing type feeling in my gut. I absolutely required that camouflage hat. She knew exactly which one. Without missing a beat, Natasha jumped down from the Chevy and made fast back to the bookstore to get that coveted head gear. After my original VMI ball cap I got senior year of high school, this would prove my second favorite of all time. Yep! Natasha just knows and more importantly she knows and cares, truly loves and cares, for me.
We were running out of time. I wanted everything to do with stopping off at T.J.’s house at Monticello to show Natasha a little Founding Father’s humble abode. Alas! we rain checked the author of the Declaration of Independence in order to get back to Tidewater. We’ll surely go next adventure.
Breaking Bread back in Norfolk:
Nothing screams full indoctrination into my family quite like an evening out of fine dining. So really it was Mexican food and my aunt and uncle were already at the restaurant tying one on. Or had they already arrived real festive? Having only just met, Natasha was more than happy in answering all the customary questions. “Where area you from originally?” inquired Aunt Shirley. Natasha beamed “Chicago.” “And what brought you out to Seattle?” “I accepted an advertising job.” Things were about to get juicy. Not five minutes later Aunt Shirley commenced with her own second round of clarifying questions. “So, you’re from Ohio? What’s it like? “Nope!” shot Natasha right back and without even breaking stride my aunt went 0–2 with “how’s your profession in nursing?” By this point Natasha started laughing because the only alternative was to cry. Was I in a Twilight Zone episode? This was bonkers. The night further deteriorated as every subsequent round of drinks unceasingly made their way before us. The only sane one in the bunch was my dad. He wasn’t drinking. Or, per usual, he had his “for show” beer which always lasted the entire night. At one point during dinner I thought it was the best idea to eat an entire pepper in one bite. Needless to say Natasha was unimpressed. The whole situation was made worse when my mom jumped out of her seat and and sat in my lap. The look on Natasha’s face told me she was ready to leave. Not the restaurant. Virginia. Now this entire trip turned to one of damage control, and trying to hold onto the woman I love.
Debriefing later that night at the Knights of Columbus would eventually see things made right. For one, all my dad’s brother knights absolutely adored Natasha. She exudes this air of fun loving, confident and witty, and extremely interpersonal with all types. Natasha lights up every single room she occupies. She certainly won my dad over. She would tell me how my dad totally reminded her of her own. “I get your dad,” Natasha would repeat time and again with a huge smile on her face. It had to be his dry sense of humor and his alone that made her the most comfortable around my whole clan. Mr. Borkowski, a proud Polish son of Chicago, hit it off with Natasha too. All appeared well and good until we all bellied up to the bar for a night cap. I ordered my standard Bud Light and was incredulous when I heard Natasha say “Coors Light, please.” The look I shot her must have appeared to Natasha as if I thought she was breaking up with me by ordering that taste of the Rockies.
I was dreading our departure. Natasha would be flying back to Seattle to reunite with Madeline after enduring one eventful week back east with my crazies. Drop off at Norfolk International (ORF) was unbearable. Saying goodbye to her and seeing her through security was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It is because I did not want to do it at all. The TSA agents appeared ready to take me into custody because I continued to linger. “Sir, you need to step back,” was all I kept hearing from several blue shirts. I craned my neck until I could see Natasha no longer. The last image I was left with is of her crying. When I phoned later while she was boarding her plane she too confirmed it was the hardest thing she had ever done. Natasha told me where other passengers felt her sadness.
One more week in Virginia and I could return home to Natasha and all the love all the adventure.
