Coming out as “Psychic” is a lot like coming out as “gay”
Tell me how I feel one more time, please.
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Whenever I write or make something I am flooded with thoughts and sensations. How people will feel about it and how they will view it as applied to their own experiences. Even when doing something like texting I can see the branching conversation paths clearly and I can sense how the other person will react.
Choosing my words with care has become my daily life. I think long and hard before I speak, write or make anything. So when someone says: “You don’t understand how this sounds!” I just shake my head. I understand how it sounds, tastes, feels and looks to the point where I am not in control of how people react to it. I just know that what I say will provoke a reaction. But I also know what being “offended” means to people.
My creative process can cause anxiety but I push through that hoping that at least one person will get the message I am trying to convey. I am just trying to get my voice heard before I die. My family has stated that they will throw everything in the trash when I die because it makes them “look bad” or something ridiculous like that.
I wonder what people could learn from my story if they would just stop telling me to shut up and that what I feel and know is not real.
“How do you know you’re a psychic?” a gay guy asked me.
And I asked him, “How did you know you were gay?”
And he paused before saying, “I just knew.”
“Then why is this so hard to understand?” I asked.”Do you know how much this hurts me? Do you even care?”
“No,” he said. “Drop this psychic stuff now before it makes a fool out of you.”
“You think I like this?” I asked. “It took me years to love myself for loving other guys and I cannot believe that another gay person is telling me this stuff all over again. I know what I am.”
I try to use humor to convey how ridiculous “coming out” as psychic has been for me. It’s just another thing for me to “come out” as. Adopted, gay, Irish, and others. I spend a lot of time in other people’s heads and I really do take care and I am concerned about how people I love with react.
My Poor Mom (A Transcript)
My parents will not read books or read articles or look things up on the Internet. When I got sober, I warned them that I was about to change out of my sick way of life and that if they wanted to have a great relationship with me, then they would have to see a therapist.
They refused.
Now, years later they are struggling with the way I am now. We speak a different language and it’s hilarious, sad and telling. I have to speak them in a code. I am nothing more than a channel on a television screen to them. Something they land on and then flip off when it gets challenging or boring. It took months of education to get them to understand what was happening to me.
Me: Mom, you know that show Ghost Whisperer?
Mom: Yeah, what about it?
Me: I am like that, now?
Mom: You’re a woman?
Me: (pause) That is a valid question given our history, but no. I am not a woman. At least not today.
Mom: Honey, I don’t understand. What is “psychic ability” and what can I do?
Me: I don’t know, mom. I know things need to happen and I know people think it’s a joke. Just like when I was coming out as gay. People didn’t believe it then. Maybe this is something new for everyone.
Mom: We’ll get through this, I got used to you being gay, I can get used to you being a ghost whisper.
Me: Psychic/Medium. I don’t whisper to ghosts.
Mom: What was that little girl doing on that TV show then?
Me: That was just an example. Of what I do now.
Mom: Are you still gay?
Me: Probably.
Mom: Just askin’
So I made this graphic for her. It made her laugh because what else are you going to do when your son or daughter says they are gay, transgender or even something that doesn't even have a name yet. The human race is evolving whether you like it or not. Gender identities, cybernetic implants, robots from the future…we are changing daily, hourly and in larger numbers.
Did you think raising kids in front of a TV would not have an impact on their intellect or abilities at all? Especially the ones that can’t be measured with the tools that we have currently. From a young age I determined that Scooby-Doo could be a true thing taking place in an alternate reality. The Chronicles of Narnia schooled me as to what could happen if I went too far into a wardrobe in a strange house. The Land Of The Lost was a true thing to me and could be a true thing today because science. But as for psychics, all we have is James Randi beating drums that were made 200 years ago offering a lottery prize that no true psychic even wants. Ick.
Instead of trying to prove what I am not, let’s try and prove what I am. Why do I have this enormous empathy for all things? Where did that come from? Am I an “empath” rather than psychic? How does my Divination Deck work? Why does it work? How did a mess of flash cards on the floor of my apartment end up being a therapeutic tool? I am a farm boy from Kentucky. Why am I even writing about this at all?
Since I came out as gay 25 years ago, I’ve watched the rest of America acclimate to what was natural and right for me and millions of others. Do I have to wait 25 MORE years for this next part?
Maybe I am an alien? Maybe I am a robot from the future? Maybe I am something altogether new and different? I certainly feel that way sometimes, since what I know doesn’t match the previous literature, but I know it to be true.
I understand how it sounds. I understand how ridiculous it sounds. The whole time my plunges into the spirit world were happening I was telling those entities: “How I am supposed to explain this? Why do I have to be the adopted gay psychic who gets told this stuff? This will ruin my life.”
The Spirit World response:
This world is not what it seems. I know things I should not know. I did not choose to be gay, psychic, adopted or any number of things I am now. I did know how to heal myself of addictions, trauma and abuse. And I know how to help others. I can talk people out of suicide and give homeless people a reason to keep trying.
And I will keep trying and writing and loving. Being “gay” was not just a phase and neither is this.
Just wait 25 years when we’re grappling with “psychic” rights.
ALL THINGS GO: How I Became A Shaman
In April of 2013, Author Eric Durchholz had a near-death experience followed by a soul transfer. As a result, he died and was replaced by a new consciousness named Patrick John Coleman. A new soul in a full-grown body… much to the confusion of his friends and family. As the new age concept of a walk-in soul is relatively unknown to the mainstream, a growing army of walkins are coming to this planet in a “Divine Invasion” to set this polluted and hateful world back on a course towards peace. As Coleman struggled to find out where he came from and what happened to Eric, he turned to the great psychic researchers Edgar Cayce, Jane Roberts and Esther Hicks for answers. In doing so he found he had uncanny connections to them while also uncovering a plot by his family to keep him silent. The book also includes several hours of specially produced video footage including reenactments of key events linked via QR Codes so keep your smartphone handy and get ready for a mindbending, soul-expanding thrill ride. To Purchase, click here
