31 Thoughts a Pianist Has During a Performance
Gah, my hands are cold!
Can anyone see my hands shaking? I’m not nervous, it’s just really cold!
Oh, a heater! Real quick before I go out on stage.
Now my hands are sweaty…
What’s up with this pedal? I know how to work a pedal — this thing is broken!
Maybe I’m too close to the piano…or maybe too far…maybe the seat’s not right…
I don’t like this piano, it’s not as good as the one I practice on.
Ooooh I sound great, so musical.
Uh oh, what measure am I on?
Memory slip! Let’s test out some improv until I remember something.
Hope they don’t realize I made some of those measures up.
Man, I’m hungry.
I could really go for some lasagna.
Why does my stomach insist on having to bust out a solo during my pianissimo?
I wonder if Olive Garden delivers.
Wait, did I already play that one part that I always screw up?
Hmm, I guess so — guess it wasn’t too bad.
Oh — here comes next difficult part.
Boom. Nailed it.
Maybe I should speed up so I can go get some food.
Ugh singers, why can’t you just do it the way we rehearsed?
Ok she’s really holding that note longer than usual, I should keep my eye on her so i know when to start again.
Ok almost done, now when the piece is done, wait patiently for her to signal so I can get some applause.
Oh…ok then, she’s gonna keep bowing, I guess I’ll wait.
Alright, rude! I did play too, where’s my credit? Piano is difficult!
Ah signal given, now don’t trip on the seat or dress.
Take your time, cool as a cucumber.
Bow executed. Now gracefully turn around and exit.
Actually, I think I deserve more applause. Perhaps another bow.
And another, why not? I deserve it.
No flowers? That’s it? Fine, then. I’ll leave.
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