31 Thoughts a Pianist Has During a Performance

Gah, my hands are cold!

No matter the venue, they always seem to think having the heater on for the musicians isn’t a necessity.

Can anyone see my hands shaking? I’m not nervous, it’s just really cold!

Oh, a heater! Real quick before I go out on stage.

Aaaaaaaaah

Now my hands are sweaty…

uh oh

What’s up with this pedal? I know how to work a pedal — this thing is broken!

*squeak squeak*

Maybe I’m too close to the piano…or maybe too far…maybe the seat’s not right…

I don’t like this piano, it’s not as good as the one I practice on.

Practice piano vs Other pianos

Ooooh I sound great, so musical.

Uh oh, what measure am I on?

Memory slip! Let’s test out some improv until I remember something.

Hope they don’t realize I made some of those measures up.

Man, I’m hungry.

I could really go for some lasagna.

*burp*

Why does my stomach insist on having to bust out a solo during my pianissimo?

I wonder if Olive Garden delivers.

Wait, did I already play that one part that I always screw up?

Hmm, I guess so — guess it wasn’t too bad.

Oh — here comes next difficult part.

Boom. Nailed it.

Maybe I should speed up so I can go get some food.

Ugh singers, why can’t you just do it the way we rehearsed?

Ok she’s really holding that note longer than usual, I should keep my eye on her so i know when to start again.

pft she wishes she was T.Swift

Ok almost done, now when the piece is done, wait patiently for her to signal so I can get some applause.

Oh…ok then, she’s gonna keep bowing, I guess I’ll wait.

Alright, rude! I did play too, where’s my credit? Piano is difficult!

um, excuuuuuuuuuse me

Ah signal given, now don’t trip on the seat or dress.

Take your time, cool as a cucumber.

Bow executed. Now gracefully turn around and exit.

Actually, I think I deserve more applause. Perhaps another bow.

And another, why not? I deserve it.

No flowers? That’s it? Fine, then. I’ll leave.


Follow me on Twitter @MyrnaCatMEOW or my company’s blog Picardy.

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