Shit Product Managers Say

Some good, some bad. All true.

• Something something something MVP.
• Let’s just A/B test it.
• Based on the data…
• Sounds like we have a couple of options here.
• We should all be aware of the tradeoffs involved.
• What do we have to do to get this done sooner?
• How many customers have complained about X?
• How many customers have requested X?
• That’s a great idea! Unfortunately…
• I totally get what you’re saying. Unfortunately…
• Unfortunately that’s been deprioritized.
• That’ll be part of a future release.
• That’s going to increase the scope of this project.
• We have to maintain competitive parity.
• Can you commit to an exact date that this product/feature will be done?
• I made a lo-fi wireframe in Balsamiq.
• Can’t we just do that with javascript?
• A wizard would be great for this flow.
• Let’s put a carousel on the front page!
• This needs to be mobile optimized.
• Let’s start plans for internationalization.
• I’ll set up a meeting for us to discuss.
• Let’s go over the action items from this meeting.
• No, I’m not a project manager.
• I’m the CEO of the product.
• [Insert quote from Steve Jobs]