An Old Note-to-Self Found Its Way Back to Me During Burnout

When my past self came in clutch and reminded me of how to be intentional about a sustaining career

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels

After taking a week-long vacation for only the first time this year, I found myself returning to work more fatigued, demotivated, and disengaged.

The time off was meant to refuel me, to give me energy, yet there I was, on edge again, in fight-or-flight mode with every single work interaction. I realized then that I was burnt out.

I had been running laps all year, hopping from one problem after another, realizing that I had not stopped to take even a short water break. It was only a matter of time before I’d catch myself out of breath and dehydrated, no longer able to function properly.

As I’ve been attempting to declutter some areas of my life to start emptying my overflowing cup, I stumbled upon a letter I had written myself two years ago. I’ve been burnt out before, and while the present me is still trying to get myself out of this rut, my past self came in clutch, sharing words of wisdom that I needed to hear (read) when I needed to the most.

I am sharing that letter here, verbatim, as a reminder of how I’ve overcome before and how important it is to give myself grace in moments of distress.

While this letter is addressed to me, I hope that you, dear reader, glean pockets of meaning and nourishment from it, too — no matter the circumstances you’re currently in.

December 2021

Dear Nicola,

You’ve been at this for 3 years now. It has not been smooth sailing, but what a ride it has been so far. You’ve had the most amazing growth opportunities. Your 2018 self wouldn’t believe you if you told her that you’re now a Product Manager of a critical category-redefining financial services product for your company and that you have been able to create some of the most meaningful relationships with friends and mentors around the globe.

It has not been easy, and it will only get tougher — you wouldn’t be here if you no longer felt challenged by what you’re doing.

When things are especially hard, I want to remind you that these are the three things you care about your work, and as long as they hold, keep pushing on.

1. Autonomy. You have a voice and the agency to speak and act on what you think is right. People across all levels still listen to and value your feedback.
2. Mastery. You continue to work on important and challenging problems. Along the way, you learn, grow, and excel.
3. Sense of Purpose. You do work that matters. People’s lives are better for it.

You are lucky enough to be able to derive a sense of purpose from your job; not all people can say that about their work, which takes up most of their days. You do not feel the need to find that sense of purpose in other areas of your life.

So much has been said about “hustle culture,” but you know that you are at that stage in your career where you have enough passion for what you do to clock in 50–70 hours a week, navigating the mess and tackling hard problems head-on. But who are we kidding? Caring is hard. Caring takes a lot from you.

So, going forward, keep in mind that your energy is a scarce resource and that you must protect it at all costs.

A few notes for your “off hours” and weekends and the occasional vacation leaves:

1. Manage the noise. Garbage in, garbage out, right? The proliferation of information can get overwhelming and draining quickly. Be intentional about how you use social media — from how you consume news to how you engage with connections. (You don’t have to explain yourself to your friends; the real ones know.) If it’s no longer serving you, mute, unfollow, unsubscribe.
2. It is 100% okay to be selfish. Do not feel like everything you spend your time on must be for the greater good. Outside of work, do things for you. Separate rituals from routines. Ensure these are energizing, nourishing, and fun. You can’t give back to the world if your tank is empty. Take care of yourself first.
3. Take pause. Give yourself a break (a real break, i.e. at least once a week) now and then. To think, to write. Much like work, you can get lost in your rituals too — they can be your coping mechanisms to crowd out everything else happening in your life. Check-in and have a real conversation with yourself from time to time.

You may feel that you need to have most things figured out, but you don’t. It’s a different world; who knows what will happen a year from now? Trust your instincts and plan reasonably. There is no light at the end of the tunnel, but just enough light for your next step.