All’s Well/ Feelings

I stood again, feeling what u should not.

Poem

Photo by author.

Why do you react so much?

Why do you care?

Oh god! you are always crying,

Stop, you talk a lot,

Are you done laughing? Such a ‘pick me’ you are.

You are an embarrassment, why do you always have to react, to always say things, to laugh, to cry, to get angry why? Can’t you just be normal?.

“because I feel”

“because I am a human”

“because I exist”

I wanted to slap these on their faces, but no I kicked the stone of my feelings and stood numb.

Kicking the stone on the way, I felt numb, I was so sadist trying to feel pain but felt none.

Throwing the plethora of emotions down the hill of eyes, I felt numb. Screaming inside my head tearing and ripping, my heart seeking comfort in misery yet I felt numb.

Ringing in my ear my distress disappointed the melody I was listening to my feelings. Trying to concentrate I felt jumping from the edge of sadness I lost the voice that screamed numb.

Because in the moment of numbness I felt. I felt my shattered and scattered self. Now that I know numbness felt in the way I felt.

I was a human, and I felt like one.

To everyone who’s been told you feel a lot. Darling, you are a human, you feel

you are a human, you’ll express,

you are a human, you’ll break,

you are a human, you’ll heal,

you are a human, you’ll die,

you are a human, you’ll live.