5 Tips for a Successful Fantasy Football Draft
It’s early August, which means two things in America: it’s hot as hell and it’s nearly football season. For many of us, the arrival of football season brings with it one of the most fun and challenging games, fantasy football. Fantasy football is a great way to make temporary enemies out of your closest friends and to irreparably damage your view of certain players (Fuck you, C.J. Anderson). As anyone who’s missed the fantasy playoffs can tell you, the basis for a good fantasy season starts with a great draft. Here are five tips I’ve learned that should help you start your season off with confidence.
Forget About Quarterbacks. Don’t literally forget to draft a quarterback — you would lose the season if you did that. But despite the fact that there are only like two dozen dudes in the entire world that are NFL caliber quarterbacks, there is a surprising amount of depth at this position. It’s much more important to draft a reliable receiver in the third round than Aaron Rodgers or Tom Brady, when Dak Prescott and Derek Carr will be available five rounds later.
Avoid Players on Bad Teams. I don’t mean teams that are just bad — the Bears are going to be a bad team this year, but Jordan Howard will still probably put up some monster games — I mean teams that are without hope. The Jets have nobody worth drafting, and unless Todd Gurley manages to bounce back into his rookie form, the Rams don’t either. Certain teams are complete black holes, or in one case, a Brown hole.
Draft A.J. Green. In Madden, whenever I do a pass play as the Bengals, I almost always throw the ball to A.J. Green, because he’s the best player on the team and can make amazing plays even while covered. This skill is invaluable in real life football, and you should try to draft players like A.J. Green or Melvin Gordon — players on mediocre teams that are capable of pulling off some crazy football moves.
Don’t Be Afraid to Draft Villains. If you tried to draft a morally upstanding team, you would be cutting yourself off from great players. Ezekiel Elliott and Ben Roethlisberger may be despicable people, but they know how to play football. Be careful, though, as this coin has two sides — if your team bites it, not only will you be a loser, but you’ll be the team that drafted the reprehensible goons.
If All Else Fails, Turn To Crime. Honestly, if you’re willing to draft the bad guys, I don’t see why you’d be opposed to joining their ranks. If someone drafts A.J. Green before you, hire someone to break his legs. Or break his legs yourself. Don’t be afraid to commit arson.
Well, that’s it. That’s all I know about drafting. I’ve never won a league in my life.
