The Pros and Cons of Punching Nazis
Since video of white supremacist Richard Spencer getting punched by an anonymous protestor began circulating the internet, there has been an active discussion of whether it is an acceptable action to assault those who advocate for genocide. Many find it to be morally acceptable, or even imperative. Some see it in a less positive light. If you are struggling to figure out which side of the debate you lie on, here are some of the pros and cons of punching a Nazi in the face.
PRO: Might get on Buzzfeed. This story has been receiving a huge amount of coverage. With the level of visibility that comes with attacking a white supremacist on camera, you’ll almost certainly get multiple articles onto acclaimed website Buzzfeed.
CON: Might hurt somebody’s feelings. Whether it’s the person being punched, their supporters online, or moderates defending white nationalism as an acceptable political viewpoint, someone is going to be upset that you swung at him.
PRO: Might impress a girl. If there is a girl standing nearby who shares similar political views, she may find your display of fascism smashism to be irresistible. Girls love it when you punch people.
CON: Might hurt your hand. Though it certainly hurts them more, punching a person in the face hurts. The face is a very hard part of the body, and the impact could have you shaking your hand and saying “Ouch! That hurt!”
PRO: Might impress a boy. I am aware that in the last positive point I excluded those who aren’t attracted to women, so here you go. This point is very similar, but needs to be made.
CON: Nazi might split into multitudes, like a hydra’s head. There are tales of brave men who, during WWII, engaged Nazi soldiers in hand to hand combat, only to have their enemy cleave in two when struck. They would divide, as a cell undergoes mitosis, into two smaller Nazis. Each of these Nazis would, in turn, divide if struck. There would always end up being too many Nazis for the man to deal with, and they would devour him alive. If you have to punch a Nazi, I hope it isn’t one of this kind.
PRO: Free pass to Heaven. It’s no secret that God loves people who punch Nazis. It got both Indiana Jones and Captain America into Heaven when they died. There is no reason for me to believe this wouldn’t work for an average Joe.
That’s it. The complete list of reasons to or not to punch a Nazi. If you still haven’t made up your mind as to which side you lie on, I guess you never will. Sad!
