Almost Home
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Almost Home

ALL TIED UP

“What are you going to wear? Are you going to change between the two?”

You might think this is RushTok, the new viral bit on social media where freshmen women (freshwomen?) talk about what they’re wearing for Rush Week at the University of Alabama, something the New York Times chronicled last week.

You’d be wrong. This is not a conversation between two girls at ’Bama showing off their finery and hoping to get bids from their chosen sorority.

John Flaherty, Michael Kay, Paul O'Neill. Missing is the equally nattily-dressed David Cone

No, the quotes above are paraphrased from a conversation between New York Yankees announcers who were talking about changing their ties between games of a Yankees-Red Sox double-header. One of the announcers, Paul O’Neill, even decided to change his jacket and maybe his shirt as well as his tie. Nice, as he might have said.

The buttoned-down and buttoned-up Yankees.

Hey, c’mon guys. This is baseball. Not a night at the opera or at the old Sardi’s. In case you hadn’t noticed, it’s 2021, not 1921. Even investment bankers have “Dress-Down Fridays” and show up in polo shirts and slacks to invest your millions. And those are just the folks going into offices these days. The rest of the world is home on the couch in stretched-out T-shirts and baggy shorts — the well-dressed ones, that is.

Steinbrenner Land, however, is on a different planet. There it is still the 1950’s where hair is trimmed short and slicked-down, where faces are closely-shaved (except perhaps for a discreet mustache) and men go to work in pin-striped suits — both on the field and off. Father always knows best, Mother wears an apron over her dress and high heels to tend the house, and Don and Phil Everly are crooning “Bye, Bye Love.”

Bye, Bye Everly Brothers

Back on earth, it’s August. Things are heating up and Mom and Dad Velazquez are in the stands yelling their lungs out for their baby boy Andrew. Don Everly, left above, just sang his last lament.

It’s time for a new tune from the management of the Bronx Bombers, as well.

Maybe one we can rap to. No ties needed.

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Don and Petie Kladstrup

Don and Petie Kladstrup

American writers living in France, working on forthcoming book, “Almost Home: Playing Baseball in France.” Authors, “Wine & War,” and “Champagne.”