My Shitty Retrospective of 2018
This year was a doozy. This wasn’t my worst year by any stretch of the imagination, but it was my most transformative. I quit my job and started my own design company which 11 months in I didn’t crash and burn my entire world to the ground.
I started throwing events for shit that I care about with the help of my homie Ashley Hefnawy. Casual Brenda Social Club became a real thing. Raising money for social causes that I care about I mean, they’re two things that I know how to do well.
1.) Drink
2.) Make cool shit.
I’m eternally grateful for having the opportunity to be able to pull stuff off like Casual Brenda Social Club mixing partying and charity work together has always been a dream of mind. Also collaborated with my longtime friend Mary to make candles that smell good as hell, donated some of the money from the candles to RAICES. Shout out to Mary Hall for taking a chance on my ideas and making the best damn candles ever. Can’t wait to work together more in 2019.
But this year wasn’t all great news though I stopped being friends with some people who were like family. I lost one my youngest cousins and to top it all off my dad was really sick a lot this year. When your parents and family dies or gets sick, it puts mortality into perspective, but for me, I fell into a spiral of depression and self-doubt.
7I was two months into running a design company, and I was spiraling in self-doubt, depression and a severe case of imposter syndrome. I was getting the clients, and doing the work I wanted, but is this really what I wanted to do?
I kept asking myself these questions over and over again.
“Wouldn’t it be easier for me to just work for a big name company or join an established agency instead of doing my own thing?”
“What happens if I fail.”
“I’m not going back to Toledo, Ohio because I made a poor life choice.”
After 3 months of this self-doubting bullshit I pulled through it thanks to some advice my dad said to me and I quote.
“ Nigga you’ve been doing this on your own since you were 18. You ain’t got shit to prove to no one but yourself and your in a place where you can do anything you want. So what you waiting on.”
My dad has a way with words but he wasn’t wrong, and it was enough to get me out of the funk that I had. The one thing that this year had to reiterate to me since I already knew this is perseverance and investment.
Perseverance through all things. Nothing worthwhile is ever going to be easy, so shut the fuck up about feeling sorry for yourself because things are difficult. Stop doubting yourself because you’ve already been through worse and you’ll get through whatever comes next. And most importantly invest in your damn self. No one is going to motivate you like you. Bet on yourself, believe in yourself.
Welp that’s my recap for 2018. My wish for 2019 is for everyone to be excellent to each other.
Peace.
