It’s Happening. Any Day Now. I Swear
It’s been said for a while, I know your patience is running out, but this time it’s really happening. You can trust me this time, really.
My super-secret-but-totally-trustworthy source has confirmed what we have known all along: it is indeed happening. Soon. The stars are in alignment.
No more waiting around for it to happen, it’s about to. Any day. Any hour. Perhaps even the next few seconds. All this waiting will be finally over. You’ll see. Everyone who doubted us will understand that we were right, you were right, all along.
They’ve been telling us we’re crazy, that it will never happen. That this is all some conspiracy built on lies. The time to prove them wrong is almost here. The only lies are theirs and it will all be revealed any time now. It will be obvious that they were always trying to deceive you.
We just have to wait a little longer — just a little longer — and the sea monster will be unleashed!
All we need is your donation and it can actually happen. We promise.
