A Peek Into My Future Self
It is scary, really!
Penning down the future is as scary as could ever be — for me, at least! It requires that I be certain of what I am doing right now, but it also makes me more mindful of what I invest myself in in the present. I, therefore, thank Amy Shearn for this beautifully crafted prompt, which has compelled me to pen this down. Below, I try to unfold a part of the life that I wish for myself.
“If we could unfold the future, the present would be our greatest care.
- Edward Counsel
Every weekday, I wake up at 5 in the morning. I say my morning prayers in the small garden outside our house, feeling the moisture of the morning dew seeping through the prayer mat. After the prayers, I sit there still, talking to God, telling Him my deepest secrets and my heartiest wishes. While doing so, I take deep breaths, inhaling the scent of fresh grass, savoring it, and looking out to the horizon, staring — as much as my craned neck would allow — at the subtle changes that take place as the curtain of darkness is lifted. As dawn breaks and bird sounds begin to punctuate the silence, I start reading our Holy Book — the Qur’an.
I have an hour or two left before I leave for the hospital. I have breakfast and delicious tea with my partner and kids. Some days, we make small talk, or discuss things important to us. Other days, we take updates on the small things we are trying to accomplish, or the small problems that break the monotony of everyday life. But we always make it a point to listen to the kids' chatter. Even though a lot goes on for both of us, we find solace in each other’s company, and comfort ourselves with the satisfaction that each has the other’s back, when that is not possible!
At the hospital, it is crazy! But I try to maintain my calm and be mindful of what I do and how I talk and listen to the patients. I try to keep open eyes, open ears, and an open mind, despite some days being extremely tiring. It is a daily struggle, and every time I fall, I remind myself of the purpose and guiding principles I had chosen for myself. I try to accept and learn from my mistakes, in spite of the humiliation it could cause me. I also try to be of as much help to the people around me — my colleagues, as well as my patients, but even more to the students that come for their rotations. Every time I don't feel like teaching them or answering their queries, I remind myself of the time when we used to be in the same position, and the amount of humiliation that had to be undergone when we had to run errands simply to summon our allotted supervisor for the day.
Back home from work, we have supper, where we discuss each others’ days. The kids have a lot to tell, and I revel in the childish, innocent details they never forget to mention. With tea served, we have a reading session with the kids, and talk over some insights. When they go to bed, I try to write — as well as browse — for an hour or so, on Medium (or any other blogging platform that I might have discovered till then), but also in my personal journal. Some days, when it is very tiring, I don’t force myself. Those days, though, I still journal. I try to reflect every day on the day’s patients, what went right, and what could have gone better. Then after the night prayers, and as little as even a single page of my current read, I shut my eyes to sleep.
Every weekend, I try to make a little more personal time, and a lot more for the kids, especially a productive outing for the entire family. Once every month, I try to meet up with my siblings — without any of our families. If maybe once or twice a year, I am allowed the luxury to travel to a new place, I can probably say my life is ideal!
Life is beautiful when simple. We tend to run after the unachievable, and in the process, miss out on truly living! If one were to have a loving and supportive family, a life crafted out of their own choice and guided by purpose, some time to breathe and do things that are purely enjoyable to them, a stable source of income, and a chance to see and wow at the world — what more could one wish for?
