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“Song Information” by Neddy Bly

I might as well have founded The Bank of New York. I started there in 2004. They say it’s 200 or 300 years old, but guess what? No one can prove it. I spent 20 years tracing its history, it’s fucking astounding. Slavery looks like a fucking Rom Com compared to what I saw.

So I left. Truckload of cash with me. But I knew the cash was yet another svengali. Totems, idols, svengalis. That is humanity’s fate.

If we don’t act up. Do not let Elon Musk buy Twitter. The SEC MUST WAKE THE FUCK UP and prevent Musk’s deliberate embarrassment of Jack Dorsey.

Musk has hated Dorsey since 2009 (Musk-Dorsey is a classic hereditary-pattern baldness feud like Trump-v-B. Clinton. #BTC was started by Bill Clinton.)

There was a joke circulating the office (which no one understood because who the fuck is “Alexander Hamilton”, right?). No one knew wtf an Alexander Hamilton even was, and if I’m being honest, I didn’t even know what the Treasury was. I didn’t know our goverment even had one of those.

So the old joke (it was just the secretaries who told it… they made it up, frankly) was (you must hear it in a New York Accent), “What were the last words Alexander Hamilton said to his secretary?”

So I would have to ask — who is Alexander Hamilton. And they would cost me 10 minutes asking how I graduated Yale not knowing who that was I said because everyone at Yale is actually stupid and faking it, except our lacrosse team, they know thyselves.

Anyhow, the secretaries would explain who he was, that he was some sort of big deal way back when and he started the bank (i did the research, it is such a stretch to say he started this bank, but man jp morgan is biggest scam EVER perpetrated on the American public) and that he was supposedly famous in American History for getting shot in a duel.

See, now if these old ladies knew they COULD have saved hours of my time by just saying — Remember that Got Milk ad? The guy can’t answer radio caller who asks who shot someone and he says AAAAAWWWWWON BUWWWWWWRRR! That would have impressed me. But, anyhow, they LOSER of the battle, the guy who sucked at whatever kind of fighting it was, he was supposedly the famous ones. Lin Manuel must have not been too good for secretaries the way all their white bosses were too good for them. No friendship allowed. They smell funny. (Secretly, if they were Washington Heights but YOUNG they stood a good chance of replacing the existing wife. Then the smell used to Encanto them I mean enchant them. Eeesh, it keeps slipping. I KEEP GIVING AWAY THE ENDING!!!!

So, anyhow, I hear this thing, some meme. I’m at a goodbye happy hour, awkward as fuck, talking to a normal (seeming) wacky hippy artist (that is normal awesomeness compared to banker alien fucking bizarreness) and she just saw a play, and it was called Hamilton. I was impressed that I could impress her by telling her he founded the very bank we were standing in.

She, in her artistic genius, coded a review more impressive than anything Elon Musk and his hair implants could ever do —

“The lights went down, they start rapping, and your jaw drops. For the whole next 2 hours! Jaw drops. Everyone in the room.”

That, is fucking mastery of the English language.

But no one listened to her. She was a crazy lady. Like the crazy secretaries.

So I get an early tip (this is how stock market manipulation works, too, by the way. It’s the same fucking shit. But women just don’t care about it enough to care that it’s destroying the world) on this whole Hamilton phenomenon.

So, I buy up all the off broadway shows I can. Then overpay for the presale on Broadway. Girlfriend I cleared 800 grand on this play. It was fun as all hell too. Unlike any other artwork I’d done before. Better than bitcoin! Better than the pyramid scheme/SPAC I ran. I had desperate white hedge fund pawn brokers loaning me their Hamptons insane asylums just to cut the line and get 2 Hamilton tickets for 20 grand to impress their spoiled fucking bitchy teen daughters’ principals so the principal wouldn’t kick her out and could impress the young college student who just graduated his high school the year before and he made sure to “bump into her” outside the Starbucks across from NYU gate.

Anyhow, I heard one song and it fucking snapped my brain. Not the opener, although for many humans that’s hard to process. It was the perfect pattern for a particular strand of nerd who popped up and said… I AM HERE!! Now he hits me with this WE DON’T TALK ABOUT BRUNO shit!!

Lin “Lightning Bolt” Manuel struck me on January 20, 2015. It was my birthday, but I was working. I said let me put on this bootleg I got (my CEO’s kid tapes all the offbroadway shit, mixes the dopest new sounds off Canal very same night he sees the show) so he FTP’d me the play, I pulled it up in the home theater. I was drunk or high or drunk and high and kind of falling asleep, maybe half asleep — my jaw sure dropped but only to release a snore. And then the lightning shot through the roof of my house and electrocuted me back to life. It hit like this:

Wishzeewishzee wiz (scratching, like when I was a kid, either snapped me OUT of a dream or INTO a dream, impossible to know, Elon.)

After the war I went back to New York (I was living in New York, at the time, mind you, overlooking Trinity Church where fucking Alexander Hamilton and his wife are BURIED!!! But who the fuck knew that back then?)

A-after the war I went back to New York
I finished up my studies
and I practiced law
I practiced law, Burr
worked next door
Even though we started at the very same time
Alexander Hamilton (Lin Manuel) began to climb

something started to climb inside me

How to account for his rise to the top?
Man, the man is non-stop

i thought, wait, I’m not a man, but I *AM* non-stop!

Gentlemen of the jury, I’m curious, bear with me
Are you aware that we’re making hist’ry?

Wait, making history really is just….. talking.

(Rapping is just talking, remember.)

This is the first murder trial of our brand-new nation
The liberty behind deliberation (Non-stop!)
I intend to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt
With my assistant counsel

Co-counsel
Hamilton, sit down
Our client Levi Weeks is innocent
Call your first witness
That’s all you had to say

Okay
One more thing–

Why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room?
Why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room?
Why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room?
Soon that attitude may be your doom!

That was like a rumble from God. I got scared, I was like “That IS me! That IS me! I’m so sorry!!!”

And I remembered my father hitting me. Betrayal. The greatest of my life. I am over 50. I was 5 at the time. It returned. Crystal clear.

Why do you write like you’re running out of time?
Write day and night like you’re running out of time?
Every day you fight, like you’re running out of time
Keep on fighting, in the meantime-
(Non-stop!)

WAIT THAT’S ALL I DO I FILL BOXES OF PAPER WITH WRITING I LOVE IT SO MUCH BUT EVERYONE TELLS ME IT’S HORRRRRRRIIIIIIBBBBLLLLEEEE (as in scary, the worst connotation of horrible, i’ve had em all hurled at me)

Corruption’s such an old song that we can sing
Along in harmony and nowhere is it stronger
Than in Albany
This colony’s economy’s increasingly stalling and
Honestly that’s why he’s just public service seems
To be calling me (Non-stop!)

I can rap. I could be a lawyer! Maybe I should be a lawyer!!

I practiced the law, I practically perfected it
I’ve seen injustice in the world and I’ve corrected it
Now for a strong central democracy
If not, then I’ll be Socrates
Throwing verbal rocks at these mediocrities

Hamilton, at the Constitutional Convention
I was chosen for the Constitutional Convention
There as a New York junior delegate
Now what I’m going to say may sound indelicate

Goes and proposes his own form of government (What?)
His own plan for a new form of government (What?)
Talks for six hours, the convention is listless
Bright young man
Yo, who the eff is this?

I am like that guy, Lin Manham Bruno! That is ME!!

Why do you always say what you believe?
Why do you always say what you believe?
Every proclamation guarantees
Free ammunition for your enemies (Awww!)

THIS IS ME!!!!

Why do you write like it’s going out of style? (Hey)
Write day and night like it’s going out of style? (Hey)
Every day you fight like it’s going out of style
Do what you do

THIS IS ME!!!!

Alexander?
Aaron Burr, sir
Well, it’s the middle of the night
Can we confer, sir?
Is this a legal matter?
Yes, and it’s important to me
What do you need?

Burr, you’re a better lawyer than me
Okay
I know I talk too much, I’m abrasive
You’re incredible in court
You’re succinct, persuasive
My client needs a strong defense
You’re the solution

Whoa! Lawyering is easy!

Who’s your client?
The new U.S. Constitution?
No
Hear me out
No way!
A series of essays, anonymously published
Defending the document to the public

Yes…. more… say more…

No one will read it
I disagree
And if it fails?
Burr, that’s why we need it
The constitution’s a mess
So it needs amendments
It’s full of contradictions
So is independence
We have to start somewhere
No, no way
You’re making a mistake

Yes!! KEEP GOING!!!!!

Good night
Hey
What are you waiting for?
What do you stall for? (What?)
We won the war
What was it all for?
Do you support this constitution?
Of course
Then defend it

And what if you’re backing the wrong horse?
Ahh!

Burr, we studied and we fought and we killed
Right!

For the notion of a nation we now get to build
NO SHIT!!

For once in your life, take a stand with pride
I don’t understand how you stand to the side

I’ll keep all my plans close to my chest
(Wait for it, wait for it, wait)
I’ll wait here and see which way the wind will blow
I’m taking my time, watching the afterbirth of a nation
Watching the tension grow
I am sailing off to London
I am accompanied by someone who always pays
I have found a wealthy husband who will
Keep me in comfort for all my days
He is not a lot of fun, but there’s no one
Who can match you for turn of phrase
My Alexander
Angelica
Don’t forget to write

Look at where you are
Look at where you started
The fact that you’re alive is a miracle
Just stay alive, that would be enough
And if your wife could share a fraction of your time
If I could grant you peace of mind
Would that be enough?

Alexander joins forces with James Madison
And John Jay to write a series of essays
Defending the new United States Constitution
Entitled The Federalist Papers
The plan was to write a total of 25 essays
The work divided evenly among the three men
In the end, they wrote 85 essays
In the span of six months
John Jay got sick after writing five
James Madison wrote 29
Hamilton wrote the other 51

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME THAT’S ALL?!?! I CAN WRITE THAT IN A NIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHTTTTT!!!!!!!

How do you write like you’re running out of time? (Running out of time?)
Write day and night like you’re running out of time? (Running out of time?)
Every day you fight, like you’re running out of time
Like you’re running out of time
Are you running out of time? Awwww!

How do you write like tomorrow won’t arrive?
How do you write like you need it to survive?
How do you write every second you’re alive?
Every second you’re alive? Every second you’re alive?

They’re asking me to lead
I am doing the best I can
To get the people that I need
I’m asking you to be my right-hand man (Treasury or State?)
I know it’s a lot to ask (Treasury or State?)
To leave behind the world you know

Sir, do you want me to run the Treasury or State department?
Treasury
Let’s go

Alexander
I have to leave
Alexander–
Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now
Helpless

They are asking me to lead
Look around, isn’t this enough?
He never will be satisfied (What would be enough)
He will never be satisfied (To be satisfied)
Satisfied, satisfied

History has its eyes on you (Look around)
Why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room?
Why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room? (Non-stop)

Why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room? (Non-stop)
Why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room? (History has its eyes)
Why do you fight like you’re running out of time? (Non-stop)
Why do you fight like

History has its eyes on you
I am not throwin’ away my shot (Just you wait)
I am not throwin’ away my shot (Just you wait)
I am Alexander Hamilton
Hamilton, just you wait
I am not throwin’ away my shot

Fuck yeah.

And that’s when I retired from money.

Life gets better every day.

“Neddy Bly” by Neddy Bly

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No niche — just a blend of compelling stories and authentic personalities, each one written from a unique point of view

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Neddy Bly

Neddy Bly

Middle-aged, possibly insane, lover of moments, THRILLED to finally feel alive. Obsessed with the constellation of bights (binary lights) between people’s ears.

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