Learning to Say No

Find out more about the message shared by Pastor Tan Seow How: Prioritize Well: Learn to Say No.

The truth in life is that trying to do everything means not doing anything at all. That is simply because you can’t move forward if you are weighed down by so many different loads at the same time. So how do we focus on what is important?

We often zoom in on our mission — planning, deliberating and actioning on it. However, as much as having a mission is vital to the heartbeat of life, having omissions is equally important as well. We must set a direction as that dictates our journey but on the other hand, we must also put aside distractions so that we can stay on course in our journey.

We must learn to say no.

Learn to say NO to yourself. -Pastor Tan Seow How

Learn to say NO to others. -Pastor Tan Seow How

In the bible, there are countless stories men of God saying no to distractions:

Daniel said no to the the king’s delicacies as he purposed in his heart to not defile himself (Daniel 1:8). His early conviction would go on to manifest itself in a greater magnitude when he continued to pray and worship God even when a decree was issued to not do so, causing him to be thrown into the lions’ den (Daniel 6:4–23).

Joseph repeatedly said no to the sexual advances of his master’s wife as he refused to sin against God and his master, Potiphar who have blessed him with much. His conviction would eventually caused Joseph to be thrown into the dungeons when Potiphar’s wife wrongfully accused him of rape (Genesis 39:1–20).

Moses said no the the fleeting pleasures of sins and chose to put himself into the shoes of God’s people — sharing their pain, oppression and suffering (Hebrews 11:24–25). Moses’ refusal would led him to be casted out of the luxury and comfort of Egypt into the faraway land of Midian. From the heir to the throne of a mighty empire, Moses became a fugitive and a lowly shepherd. From a somebody, he became a nobody (Exodus 2:11–25).

Of course, the stories we read didn’t end just there:

Daniel found greater favor in eyes of the king and prospered even more. King Darius overturned the earlier decree and issued another one to declare the reverence of the God who Daniel worshipped (Daniel 6:19–28).

Joseph would end up being promoted to the second-in-command in Egypt through a series of divine miracles and more importantly, rescuing his own family from a great famine which plagued his homeland (Genesis 41:37–44).

Moses became the deliverer of the people of God but most of all, he was known as a friend of God. The bible states that the Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend (Exodus 11:33).

The common denominator in these stories is that when we have a clear idea of our omissions and distractions; and purposed in our hearts to steer clear of them, we end up heading in the direction we are destined for and achieving the mission we are called for.

Here’s food for thought though— sometimes we might not have a clear picture of what our mission and direction are but by knowing our omissions and distractions clearly, it eventually reveals our mission and direction over time.

Isn’t it interesting that this were what the heroes of faith we read earlier went through as well ?

Joseph had two prophetic dreams which he could not even understand at a tender young age. In fact, his dreams were the cause of his initial sufferings, causing him to be sold as a slave in Egypt (Genesis 37:5–10).

Through the burning bush encounter, Moses only knew his calling to deliver the Israelites many years after being exiled from Egypt (Exodus 3:1–15).

*Daniel was raised under the reign of King Josiah (one of the good kings who did was was right in the eyes of God — 2 Kings 2 &3). The bible says that “he (King Josiah) did not turn away from doing what was right” (2 Kings 2:22) and “there has never been a king like him since” (2 Kings 3:25).

This meant that King Josiah had to say no to the evil and ungodly things done by his father and forefathers. Imagine the godly and long-term effect this had on Daniel.

Daniel learnt to say no just as King Josiah did and this prepared him for the unknown when he was thrusted into an ungodly environment during the conquest of Jerusalem by King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon (Daniel 1:1).

Because Daniel had his priorities in order, he did not succumbed to the pressure of his environment and the priorities of others.

If we don’t live by priorities, we will live by pressure. -Pastor Tan Seow How

If we don’t live by our own priorities, we will live by other people’s priorities. -Pastor Tan Seow How

Just as what the story of Daniel has taught us, when you learn to say no to certain things which takes you away from your walk with God, you are learning to saying yes to the things which God has in store for you.

What can we practically do then? You can and should:

• Set aside time to come up with a to-do list (say yes to list) and a not-to-do list (say no to list).
• Pray, then set your heart, mind and face to follow what you have written in both these lists.

Setting our hearts, minds and face; and to not lose focus is easier said than done, so how can we accomplish this? We can do so by bringing our mission and omissions under the submission of God.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13

We can do all things but not all things in our own strength but under the submission of Christ as through Him, we will gain the strength to achieve our goals and missions.

Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.
James 4:7–8

When we submit and draw near to God, He will draw near to us and enable us to say no to the things which lead us astray from what He has planned for us.

Most of the time, the omissions and distractions which we need to avoid are often disguised as attractions which can be good, enriching and beneficial. If they are the complete opposite of that — bad, sinful and destructive — we would have an easy time identifying and filtering them from our lives.

What is good in our eyes might not be godly in the eyes of God. So remember, seek and ask God for the desires of His heart of us and not the desires of our own heart. Learn to say no to ourselves and to others, and say yes to the future and destiny God has laid out for us.

Find out more about the message shared by Pastor Tan Seow How: Prioritize Well: Learn to Say No.

Find out more about the amazing church I call home: Heart of God Church.

*I used Logos bible software and did a study on the upbringing of Daniel, his relationship with the reign of King Josiah, before the time he was brought into the courts to serve in the courts of King Nebuchadnezzar (Daniel 1:3–6).