Peeing in the Police Station

I am the proud father of a three-year old boy who goes to public school Pre-K 3 in Washington, D.C. On this fine day in the nation’s capital I found myself waiting for a police officer at the Capitol Hill police station to finish filling out a visitor parking pass for my sister who was coming to visit. At the far end of our auditory spectrum, the officer and I heard the cries of a little boy.

Rewind 5 minutes earlier and I had made the faulty decision to simply ask my son if he needed to pee after I witnessed a damp splotch in his crotch. Looking up at me with those big, wonderful eyes, he said…”No!” I replied, “Are you sure you don’t need to pee? No tienes que hacer pee-pee?” He responded again “No.”

I quickly mulled the prospect of taking him out of the car and having him pee against the tire of our 2016 Mazda 6, but decided against it since it was still broad daylight and I was parked across the street from the police station. And so my son and I crossed the street and walked right into the station and I made my request.

As I provided the required information to the officer, I heard the distinct cry of something gone wrong and then I was struck by the punctuated “Ahhhhhh!” that was followed next by silence. I prayed quietly in my head that I was not about to turn around to scene, so I asked “Centito, are you ok?” My head turned, and I responded with the now universal parental response “Ohhhhhughhhhhh.”

My eyes turned to the police officer as I gave my son the command to stand still. I simply told her “I’m sorry, my son just peed on your floor.” And then I gave a sad, sorry, embarrased laugh. But it was actually really funny.

The officer was kind and handed me an almost expended roll of paper towels from behind the bulletproof glass and then came around the side with a fresh roll to allow me to finish soaking up the goodness. I apologized once more and then thanked her for her help, leaving a trail of droplets in our exit.

Lesson learned: You can’t risk a pee splotch, even if your son says he’s ok. It will most likely becomes a code red operation to find the nearest receptacle to avert futher disaster. And certainly don’t risk it at a police station!