Are you Fearful of Feedback?

It could be because of how you take it…

Photo by stefan moertl on Unsplash

What is Feedback?

Feedback is information about reactions to a product, a person’s performance of a task, etc. which is used as a basis for improvement.

At least that’s how Oxford defines it as!

Let’s try to dissect this definition of feedback now:

• HOW: It’s a reaction (So a person giving the feedback)
• WHAT: It could be on product or performance (So there is an entity on which feedback is sought or given)
• WHY: to be used to improve (So the entity should become better after this)

When a mentor offers feedback to a mentee, pay special attention to what s/he means to say for each of these aspects of the feedback.

🧑🏽‍🏫 The mentors point to the areas to improve on (the HOW) in your project w.r.t. other better projects or other trained designers (the WHAT), to make you learn the nuances of better design based on their experience and for you to learn by improving (the WHY).

While sometimes, we as mentees, take these aspects of the feedback in this opposite way.

🙇🏽As a mentee, you often think of this feedback as a final verdict of failed attempt (the HOW) of your problem-solving capabilities as if your traits and capabilities are limited to not go beyond this level (the WHAT) and based on this you feel you should give up on your hard work and passions to be a Designer (the WHY)!!!

So you see how the context can change the perceived meaning of the same thing between two people!!

From my months of experience of seeking feedback from several mentors and interviewers, here are a few examples of how I didn't make the most of the feedback I was given 😑:

1. Taken their feedback as a reflection of my personality rather than on my work and not thinking of mentors as channels to improve my skills.
2. Had a biased mindset of hearing only good about my works.
3. Assumed the next steps for bad feedback as putting halt to all the hard work I was doing.
4. Gave up instantly on the thought that I can be a good designer too.
5. Wasted a lot of time in self-doubt and not making efforts for the next best opportunities.

And here is what I did instead, after I realized that I was sabotaging rather than improving myself with the feedback:

1. 🧠 I trained my mind to not take any feedback as a reflection of my personality and hear every word said in the context of my work only. (Yes, this would require constant practice and reminding your consciousness of this fact repeatedly.)
2. ⚖️ Neutralize me from hearing accolades and shortcomings with the same face-and an open mindset from my reviewer. Not to be overwhelmed by good words, not to be depressed by bad words.
3. 🕊 Owned my peace of mind. Just after your feedback session, note down the pointers you received, both good and bad, and revisit them tomorrow to work on them from here. Overnight, your subconscious mind would make a better sense of that feedback, and tomorrow you would be able to view them from a fresher/ new perspective. Give time for the feedback to seep in but do revisit in time.
4. 𐆅 Reminded me that no successful designer is a product of an overnight wonder. All designers can fall seven times in a row and rise back up on the eighth time to accept the challenges, to learn, and grow. Make friends with your failures, learn from them, only to not repeat them.
5. ☑ Treat the negative feedback on your works as a checklist of bad design practices. See your list growing and your works refining for better.
6. ⌛️Do not be fearful of experimentation just because you are too fearful of failing. “One who makes no mistakes makes nothing”

Get past the fear of failure and be open to positive feedback.

If you ever feel doubtful about the feedback you have received from anyone, try and rationalize this from a third person’s standpoint. Increase your sample size of whom you receive feedback from for a single thing, and after a while, you will start seeing a pattern in all those feedbacks. These should serve you as a final verdict on what to act upon next.

🙏🏻 Thanks for reading!

I write about my experiences, to reflect and learn from them. And if in the process, this helps anyone strike a chord and find a ray of light, I feel extremely happy to be going on the right path for myself. If this has helped you or you would want to chat around just like that, I would be happy to hear from you. I can be easily reached out on 🔗LinkedIn. Happy learning!