The struggle for strength

By Mingju Sun, American Family Insurance Data Engineering Associate Vice President

Ming with her brothers. Her family was too poor to afford photos. This is the only one she has of her childhood.

Raised in Gaoqing, Shandong Province, a rural Chinese village, I was born a great disappointment to both my parents and grandparents. In China, birthing a son is celebrated, but a girl, well, we’re disappointments. My parents redeemed themselves by having my two brothers after I was born.

Increasing the pressure on me.

My parents are extremely hard working, but sorely undereducated. My mom is illiterate, and my dad completed middle school. I ended up in boarding school, where everything is provided, including meals, supplies and uniforms. It was my greatest opportunity, and I worked hard to be one of the top students out of 500.

Once I graduated middle school, my parents expected me to start working in a factory, so I could contribute to the family. They even signed a form indicating their intentions. Lucky for me, one of my teachers saw my potential and gave me a new form to fill out. I forged my parents’ signature, and while they were furious, I was able to continue my studies.

Taking it to the next level

After high school, I was accepted into college and enrolled in the mechanical engineering program. The ratio of men to women was six to one. It was a tough program and having little female companionship made it a struggle.

I enrolled in a master’s program following my college degree. I met my husband, Jie Dai, during this time. He was pursuing his Ph.D. and is equally passionate about women’s and my success as he is his own.

We moved to Singapore following our graduation. And, I was quickly taken from my sheltered rural and boarding school upbringing to the big city. There were so many cultural experiences to absorb, but what hit home hardest was having my first female supervisor.

Coming to America

After years of being told the United States is “where you’ll flourish, Ming,” because of the equality offered, my husband and I made the journey in 1999. I took a Java developer role with Discover in Chicago. It was mind-opening. I thought I could speak and understand English, but in my first meeting, I couldn’t understand 20% of what was said. It was humbling, but I found myself motivated to learn faster.

I grounded myself in doing good work. I wrote really good code and that earned me respect and opened other doors.

Ming and her family, from left: Jie, Jason, Timmy and Ming.

After eight years of Chicago living, my husband tired of the big city. I accepted a role with American Family Insurance, and we relocated to Madison in 2007.

Growth through mentorship

I found myself as the only female software architect. One of my early experiences included creating the first mobile architecture solution. During a peer review, with five men, my work was getting nitpicked with no solutions offered. That experience made me really sad, and to this day, I wonder: “Would a man have experienced the same critique?”

Instead of wallowing in the sadness, I dug deeper and learned to defend my work from any angle. I also started to connect with other leaders throughout our organization, who have offered me priceless mentorship.

These types of moments offer lots of reflection. I feel obligated to do more — as a woman and a woman of color.

I remain motivated by my parents — I want to see the world and raise my sons — ages 16 and eight — to be kind and respectful. I continue to push forward, but now I make sure I’m turning around and bringing other women with me.

“I want to be able to afford an apple a day.”

This was the dream of fourth-grader Ming. Today she does, in fact, eat an apple every day and has her own apple tree in her backyard.