Growing Full Humanity: Racial Justice as Personal Life Work
My first encounter with racism was at a doctor’s office in first grade. I was six or seven and rubbing my eyes at the blurry figures on the chalkboard in class. The school nurse told me to visit the eye doctor and get glasses. And so in a chair too big for me with a machine-like mask hovering over my face, I made random guesses at more letters and words I couldn’t see. I thought I was doing the test wrong because the doctor looked confused and annoyed. He asked my mother if I spoke English and if this was just a reading problem. I learned that day that my existence will always take extra explaining in a white world.
I think I kind of knew, but didn’t really know, that I was a person of color (POC) until my early 20s. Growing up in a predominantly white suburban New Jersey town, I thought people of color were black or Latinx and that Asians floated along, mostly invisible. However, being Filipino, eating foods like adobo and empanadas, and having a Spanish name made me feel more of an affinity towards Latinx folks than other Asians. Asian American History Month at school was for geishas and ninjas, not brown girls with bell pepper noses like me. I knew my family and I were different in our town and I always wished to be surrounded by more diverse people and narratives.
Since moving away from my hometown after high school, I have only ever lived in cities. I’ve appreciated living in neighborhoods with more black and brown people, especially immigrants. A section of Dorchester in Boston has the best Vietnamese iced coffee and banh-mi on this hemisphere. West Harlem in New York City fuses African cuisines with soul food and jazz. Mexico is at the heart of the Mission in San Francisco with savory tamales, rich champurrado and folk art. Hearing non-American accents or seeing markets with fruits and vegetables from other countries always reminds me of my parents who immigrated from the Philippines. I feel the struggle of the taxi driver who is driving his life away so his children can live the American Dream. I hope to dedicate my career to improving the health and lives of people like my parents and immigrant taxi drivers through language and stories.
I never once heard the word ‘race’ mentioned in nursing school. We learned about health disparities but never ‘inequities.’ I knew black Americans were more likely to have high blood pressure and cardiovascular disease but didn’t really internalize that it was due to generational chronic stress from institutionalized racism until I worked at the Boston Public Health Commission as a Global Health Corps fellow in 2016–2017. There I learned about other injustices like how educated black women still have babies that die more often than uneducated white women. I’ve felt helpless and overwhelmed at how society fails people of color constantly and how insidious it is to promote diversity without equity and justice. Too often racial justice initiatives tackle low-hanging fruit like hiring more staff of color without actually investing in their talent. Too many clinicians prescribe healthy foods and exercise without addressing the reality that their patients may live in food deserts or that there is too much violence to safely go outside in a neighborhood.
I don’t see myself as separate or different from anyone who is struggling. I try not to look away even when it is easier and more comfortable to do so. Understanding one’s intersectional identities can be a helpful start to striving for racial justice. I know the ways I am privileged and the ways I am oppressed and therefore strive to see others in their complexities, too. In my own personal life, I try to support small businesses, especially those owned by immigrants and POC, as much as possible. I try to vote in elections of all levels. If a friend or family member or co-worker does or says something that perpetuates racism, no matter how benign, I’ll call it out. I consider the media and art I consume, the men I date, the people I meet, and the friends I make all aspects of my life that can be informed by racial justice.
In my recent move to San Francisco, I’ve discovered the large Filipinx community in the Bay Area. I recently attended a lecture at San Francisco State University and was in the same room with many Filipina scholars for the first time. I’ve also discovered Bindlestiff Studio, the first theater dedicated to Filipinx-American performing arts. It’s taken me a whole lifetime to learn that Filipinos do more than just immigrate, they thrive. Imagine a world where people of color and immigrants are seen in full humanity, and see themselves as more than just a stereotype or statistic. Building that world, growing those different narratives, is the tough and rewarding work that I’m dedicated to as a health equity and social justice advocate.
Angelica Recierdo was a 2016–2017 Global Health Corps fellow.
Global Health Corps (GHC) is a leadership development organization building the next generation of health equity leaders around the world. All GHC fellows, partners, and supporters are united in a common belief: health is a human right. There is a role for everyone in the movement for health equity. To learn more, visit our website and connect with us on Twitter/Instagram/Facebook.
